The One About Our 90s Era Weddings
Carolyn Cochrane 0:00
Before we jump into today's episode, you guys remember last week when we were talking about the Valpak Hallmark Plus Sweepstakes and Lacey Chabert's new series "Paris is Always a Good Idea"
Kristin Nilsen 0:11
Oh no, you should see Carolyn's face right now. She's excited about something.
Carolyn Cochrane 0:15
Yeah, it sounds like someone went down a rabbit hole. Who me? A rabbit hole? I can't imagine, you guys. I absolutely did. Okay, I started watching more Hallmark, and now I totally get it. There is so much more than just those Christmas movies.
Kristin Nilsen 0:30
It's true. It's you guys. It's amazing to me how many, like for us, how many familiar faces pop up in those shows. Exactly. Yeah. And speaking of discovering things, did you know that the Hallmark Channel is celebrating its 25th birthday this August?
Carolyn Cochrane 0:45
I love the Hallmark Channel, and I love remember those Hallmark Hall of Fame specials. I know special indeed.
Michelle Newman 0:51
It was appointment television, wasn't it? Yes. If that Hallmark Hall of Fame opening came on, you knew you were about to watch something special,
Carolyn Cochrane 1:00
indeed. And you guys, you know that what I keep looking forward to every year is that countdown to Christmas, where we get to go and watch all of our holiday favorites and the new premieres. Because there's always, oh, not just one. I mean, a good chunk of new Christmas movies that come out.
Michelle Newman 1:17
Lacey has one at Disney Disney this year. Like I'm already like waiting, patient. You guys know that. I mean, my God, that's like everything to me. Don't forget, you can watch all new premieres the next day on Hallmark Plus. And lucky for us and you, listeners, you can subscribe to Hallmark Plus right now for only $39 a year. That's more than 50% off the regular price. Just go to hallmarkplus.com and use the promo code Valpak Paris V-A-L-P-A-K-P-A-R-I-S.
Kristin Nilsen 1:49
And also, don't forget, don't forget the amazing Valpak Hallmark sweepstakes, where one lucky winner will receive a walk-on roll. A walk-on roll. Do I need to repeat it in an upcoming Hallmark Channel original movie. Plus, you get travel expenses and a behind-the-scenes tour for the winner and a guest. You
Carolyn Cochrane 2:08
guys, how cool would it be to go from just watching these Hallmark movies to actually being in one? Seriously,
Kristin Nilsen 2:15
seriously. So please, people, check out this month's blue Valpak envelope. Turn over the blue envelope, or visit valpack.com/walkon for all the details. And if one of you out there listening
Michelle Newman 2:30
ends up sharing a scene with Lacy Chabert, tell
Carolyn Cochrane 2:32
her, you guys, that the Pop Culture Preservation Society says hello.
Kristin Nilsen 2:36
Hello. Better yet, invite her on the podcast. I think it's time to talk Party of Five and 1990s TV, don't you?
Carolyn Cochrane 2:43
Oh, definitely.
Michelle Newman 2:44
We'd happily spend an hour talking Party of Five, Hallmark, and all those familiar faces we love seeing pop up.
Carolyn Cochrane 2:51
Yes, and all of those wonderful movies always have some fun little romantic twist to them, and I always love that. Will she get the lumberjack? Will the Will they kiss? And speaking of love stories, you all know that Maggie's wedding is coming up, and in celebration of that, today's episode we are revisiting our own weddings and all those trends that made weddings of the 80s and 90s so memorable. So hope you enjoy this trip down the aisle with us.
Kristin Nilsen 3:19
So my bachelorette party is us doing polka dances with old men and watching OJ. We're watching OJ drive away in the White Bronco. I'll never ever forget it. It was one of the best nights of my life. Welcome to the Pop Culture Preservation Society, the podcast for people born in the big wheel generation who know exactly where to find burnt sienna, cornflower blue, and the now very outdated flesh. We
Michelle Newman 4:03
we believe our Gen X childhoods gave us unforgettable songs, stories, characters, and images, and if we don't talk about them, they'll disappear like Marshall, Will, and Holly on a routine expedition.
Carolyn Cochrane 4:16
And today, we're saving the wedding trends, traditions, songs, fashions, and family memories that made Gen X weddings uniquely ours. I'm Carolyn. I'm Kristen.
Michelle Newman 4:27
And I'm Michelle. And we are your pop culture preservationists.
Carolyn Cochrane 4:38
Well, today's episode is inspired by one very exciting reason. I am, thank goodness, in the final stretch of wedding planning as we count down those final weeks until Maggie walks down the aisle. And since wedding details are all I've been thinking about, I thought it would be the perfect time to take a little trip down memory lane and revisit. Weddings and compare them to the weddings of today. And here's what I thought we could do, you guys. I thought it would be fun to put Michelle and Kristen in the hot seat for a wedding-themed quiz. I'll test their memories about their own weddings and maybe revisit some of the biggest wedding trends that defined the Gen X era. So think puffed sleeves, cathedral-length veils, disposable cameras on reception tables, wedding videos recorded on VHS tapes, and enough satin and lace to fill an entire department store. And I'm looking forward to learning, very much so, what trends Michelle and Kristen embraced and ones that they avoided. And while we're reminiscing, I will compare our weddings to the celebrations of today, because I've got firsthand experience, good or bad, in the planning of a wedding in 2026. A few facts I can share with you: modern couples are getting married a lot later than previous generations. In 1995, the typical first-time bride was about how many years old do you think, Kristen? It's younger
Michelle Newman 6:02
than I thought. I still think it's like 24. Oh, in 1995, I'm going to say 26.
Carolyn Cochrane 6:08
Okay, ding, ding, ding for Kristen. It is 24 years old. The typical groom, however, Michelle, was your answer 26 years old? I was almost 24. I was still 23 when I was about I was three weeks away. Oh baby shy, I was still a little baby. Yes, I was 24. Yeah, so that tracks. Yeah, today the median age for first marriages is around 29 for women and 31 for men. So that huge
Kristin Nilsen 6:36
jump.
Carolyn Cochrane 6:36
Yeah, huge jump. It is roughly four to five years later than when our generation got married, and good for them, right? I agree.
Kristin Nilsen 6:43
I'm in favor. Yeah,
Carolyn Cochrane 6:46
and the planning, you guys. What a difference 40 years can make. While we relied on those, my gosh, 15 pound bridal magazines, and maybe even like a little wedding notebook. I had this little wedding planning notebook from the Hallmark store, and like envelopes in it where I could put the clippings from the things that I took out of the bridal magazines and put those in there. And then we we relied really on recommendations from friends, and then countless phone calls to book the venues and the vendors and get prices. I mean, we actually had seriously the yellow pages, and we actually had to call and talk to another human and get all of those quotes.
Kristin Nilsen 7:25
And you might get a busy signal.
Carolyn Cochrane 7:27
Oh God forbid! And then they might not be there, right? And you know what? Our RSVPs they arrive by mail. Guest lists were tracked by hand, and our inspiration really came from flipping through those magazines rather than Pinterest or Instagram, which you guys-I mean, yay for that! But oh my gosh, it's never so overwhelmed.
Michelle Newman 7:50
It's overwhelming. Yes, yeah. Can I just say something about the RSV VP card?
Kristin Nilsen 7:55
Uh-huh.
Michelle Newman 7:55
Um, I never thought about that until you said that. But I was going through a box of stuff the other day, and I had saved two from two college friends of ours, and they were so funny, like what they wrote on them because it was like inside joke type things. And you wouldn't get that if you just they did a on like the wedding website. And then did you guys have the tissue paper sleeve in your invitation? Yeah, yeah, not a thing.
Kristin Nilsen 8:20
Yeah, and and I mean, in truth, what was that?
Carolyn Cochrane 8:24
Well, it was from the ink. It was like to keep the ink from maybe bleeding onto other parts of it. Yep. And you guys, I can tell you again firsthand that today's couples can nearly plan every aspect of their wedding online. Oh, sure. Yeah. From creating the wedding websites and the digital invitations to researching all the vendors and managing guest lists, and even you can attend like virtual venue tours. You don't necessarily even have to go to the venue. Well, and you just said
Kristin Nilsen 8:51
wedding from the wedding website. The wedding website, like they have every couple has their own website for their wedding. It just blows my mind.
Michelle Newman 9:00
If I would have, I mean, the person who came up with that is it Zoya Z O Y. Well, there's some of the
Carolyn Cochrane 9:04
knot. I think was the O Z. Oh, the knot was the first Ozola. It's
Michelle Newman 9:08
Ozola. Brilliant though, because because like it or not, it's it's easy, it's accessible, it's. But man, I wish I would have thought of that. Yeah.
Carolyn Cochrane 9:18
Oh yeah. No kidding. They very. But that's got to be very also
Kristin Nilsen 9:22
like, and because they're beautiful and they're curated, but just like social media, I worried that it that it makes things more performative and puts a lot of pressure on the bride and the groom pictures. Yes, the performative nature of it, and
Carolyn Cochrane 9:36
10% I can tell you again, because I'm living it in real time. Yes, there is that kind of underlying kind of expectation the whole way through. Technology is definitely it's made it more convenient and customizable, but many couples, I think Maggie would tell you this, would argue that it has also created more choices, and those choices become more pressure filled. And a lot, there are a lot more opinions out there than we ever had. We just didn't have to navigate that stuff. Right. Wedding fashion for us was very influenced by the Princess Diana times. Everything was like big puffy sleeves. Ours were designed to kind of make a grand statement, and I don't think that that's necessarily the case for a lot of brides anymore. And same with the bridesmaids' dresses. I mean, I don't know about you guys, but my bridesmaids-well, they wore Laura Ashley dresses. I thought I was really out of the norm. You know, I was like, "No,
Kristin Nilsen 10:38
funny.
Carolyn Cochrane 10:39
Yeah, they're going to get to wear them again. It's not gonna be this fashion prom dress that like everybody has the matching ones, and we got the matching shoes. What about you guys? Were your bridesmaids? Did they have like the taffeta dress?
Michelle Newman 10:52
My bridesmaids' dresses were navy. I don't know. It's so. It seems so bizarre. I'm like, who were you that you chose navy? They were raw silk. They were really pretty. They kind of had that shawl, like off the shoulder, you know, neck thing, and then just straight, kind of. Then just went like that went into their waist, right? But then just went straight to the floor.
Carolyn Cochrane 11:12
And everyone wore the same exact. Everyone
Michelle Newman 11:14
wore the exact same dress. Yeah. Yes, we had the dyed to match shoes. Yeah, of course. My dress was raw silk too, lace all along the bottom, and and the big roses at the sleeves, like Princess Diana's. But you know, just a touch off my shoulders, the bodice was very tight. I was probably like a size two at the time, but the bodice very beaded and lace, and it was really beautiful. And then yes, then a long train. But again, I went and got just the shoes, the white pumps, and I think I glued like some sort of lace things on them. Oh my
Kristin Nilsen 11:48
god, like your glue stick.
Carolyn Cochrane 11:50
What about your bridesmaid color? What was
Michelle Newman 11:53
yours, Chris? Okay,
Kristin Nilsen 11:53
so my color, my bridesmaids dresses were my favorite color at the time, which was periwinkle blue, and it was almost a cotton. It wasn't shiny. It was. I'm not sure it was cotton, like a muz, maybe a muslin, and it was. And they were like
Michelle Newman 12:07
calico. Yeah,
Kristin Nilsen 12:09
no, it wasn't calico. It wasn't a prairie dress. And they were kind of in a. We called it a Donna Reed dress. It had sort of a Donna Reed silhouette, but it wasn't too voluminous. It was very, very plain. It was very simple. Of course, the we were all trying. Everyone was like, "Oh, so you can wear it again? We were. This was the beginning of the trend of trying to wear it again. You were trying to help out your bridesmaids. I'm certain nobody wore it again. I'm positive they had the matching dyed shoes and everything. But who's going to wear periwinkle shoes? It's just not going to happen. My wedding dress was super problematic because this won't surprise you at all. Because I hated what was available, which was all of the big, and I've only said the f word in front of my mom twice, and one of them was the first time I put on a wedding dress, and she's like, "Oh my god, oh look at you! And I said, "I look like a fucking fairy, and that was the end of that shopping trip. It was just like this thing that my poor mother. She wanted this to be like a bonding moment, and I was like, I hate this. I hate it. And so there was literally nothing available for me. And so I ended up. This sounds like a beautiful thing, but it was very much a last resort thing. I wore my mom's dress. She got married in 1965, and at that time things were very plain, plain, plain, plain. And so I made it even plainer, and I took the skirt in, so it was kind of straight, and there was lace on just like an overlay of lace on the bodice, but that was it, and the skirt was plain, and um, and my veil was. I had flowers. I wore my hair in a really low bun, and I had flowers on the bun, and then there was just a large swath of netting that was the veil. But there was nothing that came over my head or anything like that, and I just took the veil off and had the flowers in my hair for the rest of the night. But it was, you know, you want that to be a sentimental thing, and I know that it was really important to my mom that I wore her dress, but I'm like, it's only because I hate everything.
Carolyn Cochrane 14:03
Nobody's not listening. Maybe she still thinks it's.
Kristin Nilsen 14:06
I know, I know, and I and it it is it's a nice thing, but I'm still sort of lukewarm on it. I'm not. It was it was fine and it was great, and I love my pictures, and I'm not unhappy with it at all. But it's I'm five feet tall, people. If I wore a big puffy dress, I would look. You've been
Carolyn Cochrane 14:23
swallowed. I would be
Kristin Nilsen 14:24
swallowed. You would never. You'd be like, "Is there a girl? Little face.
Michelle Newman 14:26
Yes. Little eyes. Exactly.
Kristin Nilsen 14:30
Exactly. It just wouldn't work.
Carolyn Cochrane 14:31
Yes. Well, it's kind of nice getting to talking about the bridesmaids' dresses now, Michelle. You probably know this from your girls being in weddings, but you kind of send your bridesmaids to a website, and they know the color, but they're all different styles that they can choose from. So they'll all be from Maggie's. They'll all be in the same color, but some might have a strapless, some might have a boat neck, some might have spaghetti straps. That's fun.
Michelle Newman 14:56
I gotta say that's very. But it's also just so great if you're an. If you're in a wedding, because you can say like my bridesmaids could have been like, oh my god, the the style of dress that Michelle has chosen is very unflattering on my body shape or something like that. It wasn't. They all looked great, but right. I love that now you're in the wedding and you can pick a dress that you feel comfortable in. The
Kristin Nilsen 15:17
classic is I had a roommate one time who have you ever? I'm sure this has happened to people where you've been asked to be in somebody's wedding, and you're like, really, or yeah, yeah, maybe live. And then on top of it, it was a very expensive dress, super expensive, and I will never ever forget this. The name of the color of the dress was Melon Flamingo, and she was like, I can picture it. And she didn't have the money for the dress. She was going to drop out because she didn't have the money for the dress. I'm like, you can't. She asked you to be in the wedding. You have to get the melon flamingo dress.
Carolyn Cochrane 15:48
Well, that was very nice of her to to get the melon flamingo dress, even though it cost a lot. I mean, and that was really the only thing our bridesmaids had to pay for when when Gen X weddings happened. Yeah, their bridesmaids dressed, and maybe if they didn't live, you know, nearby, they had to get there. But we could talk forever, and we're not going to because I don't want Maggie to get mad at me. But let's just say what the bridesmaids are expected to, you know, or shill out these days is a lot of money, and the groomsmen too, just the parties and the getting places, especially destination weddings and all of that, and that
Kristin Nilsen 16:21
is like I know you don't want to get into that too deeply, but I do think that that is such a pressure on people. Oh, and it is weird evidence that it doesn't have to be like that, right? And that again comes from influencer culture. So everybody just took a step back and we're like, is this necessary? Is this because also it's it's not available to everybody. Not everybody has the money to fly someplace or to pay for a party. Well, bachelor.
Michelle Newman 16:46
It's not a bachelorette night. Like my girlfriends and I just went out to. We had a limo, and then we had a little party where I got the stupid, you know, the silly gifts. We went out to a piano bar, you know, dueling pianos. Yeah, and that was it. That was the night. It was so fun. And you had a great. Now it's a weekend.
Kristin Nilsen 17:01
Yes, yeah, it's a weekend
Carolyn Cochrane 17:03
or more or more other country. You go to another. Sometimes
Michelle Newman 17:05
a lot of people go to Mexico or they go to yeah with their girlfriends, and I'm like, holy cow! And it's
Kristin Nilsen 17:10
we. I mean, you can say that's lovely, and you're creating memories and stuff. But I'm I have so many memories from my bachelorette party, as you do, Michelle, right? Like you just mine was at a dive at a polka bar, I had my because I like to do things differently. As you're gonna find out in this whole conversation, so I went to a polka bar, and it was on. I'm not gonna remember. It might have been June 11th, June 11th, 1994. And if I have that date correct, it is the day that O.J. Simpson is driving away on the freeway in the white Bronco, and there's a TV in the polka bar, and so my bachelorette party is us doing polka dances with old men and watching OJ. We're watching OJ drive away in the white bronco. I'll never ever forget it. It was one of the best nights of my life. I don't need to go to Mexico. It was Great,
Carolyn Cochrane 18:08
Kristen and Michelle, are you ready to hop into our DeLorean, which, by the way, is outfitted with tin cans tied to the bumper and just Mary painted on our back windshield? We're gonna go back and revisit our wedding days. Are you ready? I'm ready.
Carolyn Cochrane 18:21
All righty, strap in. All right, we're gonna play a little of this or that and yes or no as I quiz you about your own wedding. So I want you to put on your memory caps and here we're gonna go. You ready? This is gonna be a this or that, and I'll start with you, Michelle, band or DJ.
Michelle Newman 18:37
DJ.
Carolyn Cochrane 18:39
Okay, Kristen.
Kristin Nilsen 18:40
DJ.
Carolyn Cochrane 18:41
Oh, good. We'll make that a triple. I also had a DJ. All right. This is a yes or no. Did you have wedding and/or engagement announcements printed in the newspaper?
Kristin Nilsen 18:55
No. We did in the St. Cloud paper, which was the hometown paper of my husband?
Carolyn Cochrane 19:02
Okay, and did you have both engagement and wedding? So
Kristin Nilsen 19:05
no, just engagement.
Carolyn Cochrane 19:06
Okay, yeah, I would say yes. I had both engagement and wedding, and that was in the San Antonio Express News. Next, I want to know if you remember what music did you walk down the aisle to? So did you walk down to here comes the bride?
Michelle Newman 19:23
No, I walked down to trumpet volunteer, and we had a trumpet. It goes like I really wanted. I know this is like not original, but I love Canon and D. I love that. So I had my bridesmaids walk down to that. Then talk about
Kristin Nilsen 19:51
Canon is what my my brother. Yeah, exactly. And then the
Michelle Newman 19:54
and then there was a just silence, right? I have this on my wedding. It's just silence, and then all of a sudden this trump. Does the don't like a fanfare, and everybody stood up. Oh, I got goosebumps just thinking about it. Yeah, and then I had another trumpet song as the the recessional. Yeah.
Carolyn Cochrane 20:11
Okay. Good.
Kristin Nilsen 20:12
I'm gonna get in so much trouble because I don't remember the name of it, and it's because my dad chose it, and I allowed him to choose it. Right, he's he's not just a musician, but he's a brass musician. So it was a brass piece, and there were trumpets everywhere. And and I did love it. I totally approved. I really gave a lot of power to other people because I didn't. I wasn't super invested in planning a wedding. That was not my style. And I was in graduate school, and I was graduating, and so I was like, "Go ahead, people, make some plans. And so my this was in my dad's wheelhouse, and he wanted to. And it's not something you would recognize. I recognize it because I heard it in my house, but it's not something that you would normally hear at a wedding. But it is very anthemic, like trumpet voluntary. So it's and and I walked down with both of my parents, which was it seemed like to not have my mom seemed like a slap in the face to my mom.
Carolyn Cochrane 21:09
Yeah, you you were ahead of your time.
Kristin Nilsen 21:11
Yeah.
Carolyn Cochrane 21:12
All right, let's talk fountains for a minute. Did we have a champagne fountain, Kristen?
Kristin Nilsen 21:17
I don't remember. I don't. I don't think so. I don't think I did either, but I did not
Carolyn Cochrane 21:21
100% remember. Okay, what about a chocolate fountain? Anybody? Oh hell no! No, okay, no, good. We did.
Michelle Newman 21:26
It was very important. I know this. This is going to surprise you. This totally tracks. It was very important to my mom that we had an open bar, like full bar. It was like you know wine and beer. It's or like one or two mixed drinks. Fine. No, my mom was like, oh hell no, we're we're doing the open bar. That's how we throw a party. Like we're making sure every. And I get that you want everybody to like really feel like they can, you know, have a. Yeah,
Carolyn Cochrane 21:48
we had an open bar as well for my wedding. We are not having an open bar for Maggie's wedding. So if you are invited to Maggie's wedding and you're listening, bring cash. You you'll get beer and wine. Is yeah. Well, we're paying for, but if you want a and the signature cocktails, which is another thing. I mean, talk about cocktails. That was not
Kristin Nilsen 22:07
even a word. There was there was not a thing that existed called a signature cocktail in 1990 or a
Carolyn Cochrane 22:13
wedding hashtag.
Michelle Newman 22:14
Oh, a wedding hashtag. Oh my God! Also, are they having a signature mocktail?
Carolyn Cochrane 22:19
Yes, they're also having a signature mocktail,
Michelle Newman 22:21
and I love that. I just went to a wedding that had a signature cocktail, the meow tini, and a signature mocktail, and I loved. I thought that was great. I had one of each as a sign
Kristin Nilsen 22:32
of the times. That's a good one for
Carolyn Cochrane 22:33
sure. All righty, I indeed had an ice sculpture of a giant swan. Did either of you have an ice sculpture? Of course you did. No, I did not. I
Kristin Nilsen 22:42
think the reason I don't remember, and I think the reason I don't remember some of these details is because I didn't choose them.
Carolyn Cochrane 22:47
Oh, okay. Right. Somebody
Kristin Nilsen 22:48
else may have made a decision, and there were a lot of things where my mom would say, "Do you want this? and I said, "I don't want that. But if it's important to you, go ahead, but don't ask me about it. I don't want to have anything to do with it. I didn't want details. I just wanted to get married. I didn't want a lot of details to worry. We should have eloped. Yeah, that would have been great. Actually, really fun. Yeah, because I was really annoyed by having to worry about something on the day that I was taking this very personal step in my life and marrying this person. I was like, don't don't ask me about an ice sculpture on the day I'm getting married. I don't care.
Michelle Newman 23:22
Yeah, I did not. Again, I was working on a very tight budget too, so did not.
Carolyn Cochrane 23:28
I think mine was included in my package, package D. My mother. My mom
Michelle Newman 23:34
spent all her money on the soloist, trumpeter, and booze.
Kristin Nilsen 23:38
Do you guys remember how much your weddings cost?
Michelle Newman 23:40
I have a lot of. I have all. I have a scrapbook that has a lot of receipts. I don't remember total, but I know things like my dress was $1,400, which was
Carolyn Cochrane 23:50
that was a lot back then.
Kristin Nilsen 23:52
That's a lot. It
Michelle Newman 23:53
was, and I paid for my dress myself, and I have the check, the canceled check with the deposit, the $700 deposit. I don't offhand, but I could go back and tell you of my flowers. My the yeah, my mom
Carolyn Cochrane 24:05
kept all of that.
Kristin Nilsen 24:07
Do you remember Carolyn? How much yours?
Carolyn Cochrane 24:08
I do not remember all, but I think it probably came in around 10 or so.
Kristin Nilsen 24:15
Okay, and you're 1989, right?
Carolyn Cochrane 24:17
Correct.
Kristin Nilsen 24:18
I'm 1994, and I added it up one time. It wasn't because there was a package. We had no package to choose from, and it was $8,000.
Michelle Newman 24:26
I bet mine was around that. I bet it was around 8000. We did it, and we didn't do a sit down dinner. We did a buffet. That's what we did too. Let's just say that the weddings are a little more pricey today than they were when I'm not even going to
Kristin Nilsen 24:39
ask you, Carolyn. It was even
Carolyn Cochrane 24:41
even added yet. Don't do as I do that as I do or whatever. Yeah. Okay. I think I well I might know the answer to this for both of you, but I'm not sure. Did you toss your bouquet? Yes. Yes. Yeah, I did too. Oh, good. And I remember Allison.
Kristin Nilsen 24:56
Allison caught it. Good for you. And then Allison got married.
Michelle Newman 24:59
Yeah. Well, my college roommate Chris caught it, and then her boyfriend, long time since college, was Brian's roommate, and so they did a really funny thing. Most and he was Brian's best man, so it was really funny. Like they had since Chris caught the bouquet, then they did the funny thing where when he threw the garter, all the other guys just scattered. So Dave was just left standing there, and he had his hands in his pockets, actually, and he just looks down. But but it was really cute because then they got married a couple years later.
Carolyn Cochrane 25:27
Ours was kind of set up that way too. It was my friend Kelly caught the bouquet, and her husband now Andy caught the garter, and yeah, and that was the wedding. I just went to their daughter's wedding a few weeks. Oh my god! So I know. Do they still
Michelle Newman 25:40
throw bouquets at weddings?
Carolyn Cochrane 25:41
No, Maggie did throw bouquets, and they didn't at the one we went to. Yeah, he's not going to. I'm interested, Kristen. Did you have a garter?
Kristin Nilsen 25:50
I did not.
Carolyn Cochrane 25:50
I did not think you would.
Kristin Nilsen 25:51
Nope.
Carolyn Cochrane 25:52
I was if I had to bet. Oh, I
Michelle Newman 25:54
did, and Brian did the funny thing when it's on video where I'm sitting down and he puts his entire head under my skirt. You know, and then
Carolyn Cochrane 26:01
yeah, we did the same thing, and I think there was even that music as he's taking it off. Yeah, great.
Michelle Newman 26:09
Oh, how are they funny? They're so scandalous.
Carolyn Cochrane 26:15
Okay, what about your wedding cakes? Did you have a multi-tiered cake?
Speaker 1 26:21
Yes,
Carolyn Cochrane 26:22
and did. either of yours was it just tier upon tier, or did you have the little like pillars?
Kristin Nilsen 26:27
Mine was tier upon tier, tear upon tier.
Carolyn Cochrane 26:29
Okay, that's about how mine was. And I
Kristin Nilsen 26:31
this I do remember because I really wanted I wanted fondant icing. I can't even say fondant icing. I just thought it was beautiful, like from an esthetic. It turns out it doesn't taste very good, but the but it was gorgeous.
Carolyn Cochrane 26:44
Do you remember the flavor?
Kristin Nilsen 26:46
We had a variety of flavors, none of which I remember. Even though my friend Annie, her her she had gotten married before me, like you know five months before me or something, and she said, "Just taste the food. Make sure you taste the food. I I don't even think I ate the cake. Honestly, I don't think I did.
Carolyn Cochrane 27:04
So did you guys do any of the feeding each other, smashing your smashing? No, we took
Kristin Nilsen 27:09
pictures of cutting it, and then it was kind of like over, and we didn't. Okay, no smashing, no feeding. I don't think we, Fred. I don't. I'd have to look at my pictures. I for I may again. I may not remember because it was uneventful because there was no smashing, but I don't think we hit each other.
Carolyn Cochrane 27:23
Yeah, we did not smash. My mother threatened me. I didn't want to smash anyway, but she's like, "Do not do that smashing. It's not classy. My friend Brian, and
Michelle Newman 27:32
it's in our wedding video. You can see me. He has it in his hand, and he looks at me, and you can see me go, "Don't do it. And he goes, "I might, and I paid for
Kristin Nilsen 27:42
this face. Like this has-they don't think about that. We paid for people to put makeup on our faces. Don't don't mess it up.
Carolyn Cochrane 27:50
And did you save your top layer and eat it the next year on your first year? Oh, we saved it,
Kristin Nilsen 27:55
and on the first anniversary, we opened it. We were like, hell no! Our face, so like a
Carolyn Cochrane 28:00
wrap. I mean, we had to move it, so we leave it frozen and then defrost, and we probably frozen. Yeah, frozen. We
Speaker 2 28:06
were
Michelle Newman 28:06
like disgusting. Now a big trend is you have a big cake. It could just be like a sheet cake that they is in the back of wherever. So they do the whole like you can still get a really beautiful wedding cake if you want, but it could even be smaller, two tiers, whatever, and so you can do the cutting of the cake if you want that tradition. But then what they serve, they don't cut that cake. There's a big cake back in the in the kitchen. Well, it's the same cake usually. You've still chosen the flavor, and it's the good frosting. It's a sheet cake that then is already cut in little squares that they can bring out. Well,
Carolyn Cochrane 28:40
you can look forward to as guests is to exactly what you're saying. They're going to have a very small cake that they're going to cut for picture, and then that's going to be the one they actually end up freezing as well and doing the thing next year. And then I might have told you guys, but she's having little mini cheesecakes from Cheesecake Funk, who is the woman who worked for Prince, and Prince loved her cheesecakes, and said, "You need to do this on a another level, and helped kind of fund her getting her little business started. And now she's opened a storefront, and you all will be enjoying cheesecake from cheesecake. I love that so much. I know that it's cute
Kristin Nilsen 29:15
too. I bet. I think that's a cool
Michelle Newman 29:16
trend. I like that trend a lot.
Carolyn Cochrane 29:18
All right, what about a disco ball? Did either of you have a disco ball? I wish.
Kristin Nilsen 29:23
I wish.
Michelle Newman 29:24
I wish like photography and videography back then was like it is now because our video is hilarious. Just the very basic of graphics. You know, like yeah. I think we had a friend. We had a friend
Kristin Nilsen 29:37
do our video, and actually, I have. I did not even know that I had a video, but my mom secretly asked because I was I was no frills. I didn't want anything fancy, and so I didn't want a videographer. But my mom asked a friend to tape it from the balcony because my grandpa couldn't come. He was too old to travel, so she had a and so we have a video of our wedding. We've never watched it. Are you? We've never watched the videos. I love our wedding video. I want to challenge
Carolyn Cochrane 30:05
Kristen right now, and you can you know get that digitized and put on. I was actually digitized by Google. Digital day.
Kristin Nilsen 30:12
Yeah.
Carolyn Cochrane 30:12
Well, you've never seen it. We need to do that, and we need to get a report or something. Okay. I mean, I thought
Kristin Nilsen 30:17
we would do it on like our 25th or our 30th, but then both of those passed, and I don't know when we'll ever do it. But I was like, I was on the on the cusp of. I was always before my time. I wanted things before they were popular, and so I would have to fight for them. And so one of the things that I fought for was black and white photography. And the photographer was like, "I don't understand. We have this beautiful color film. Why do you want black and white for you. My black and white photos are gorgeous. They're so beautiful. Yeah.
Michelle Newman 30:46
You know what? Um, I did. We our videographer did the whole thing that was a big deal at the time. Where the video you're going to have your entire wedding, so like you know the whole hour of it or whatever, and then the reception. So like we have like three hours of raw footage between getting ready ceremony, and it's just so funny. Brian walks in with all his stuff in a grocery bag, like that's just so him, and he has a hole in his sock. But you know, the videographer got that kind of stuff, right? Like zoomed in on his sock. But then they're going to do a highlights thing, and that one starts with baby pictures of us. You know, so I kind of send in baby pictures very
Kristin Nilsen 31:20
forward. The graphics
Michelle Newman 31:22
were things like it's a baby picture of me, and then the transitions between me and the Bryant are things like it looks like glass shatters. It's like looks like my husband. Yes, and I kept telling him, I just want fade, fade, fade. No, that he did what he wanted.
Carolyn Cochrane 31:39
I just remember with our wedding video, they had a part that they did during the reception where people kind of came out and wished us like you know happy wedding and gave gave advice, and half of them are like you know my parents' friends who look like they're reporting on CNN from something, and our favorite one is this is a friend of my parents, and he's just standing there, very like, you know, straight. And he was like, "I know Carolyn. I don't know Andy, but I wish them. He was just like he's reporting, you know, like bombs to be going off of the back. Yeah, you know, I know Carolyn, but I don't know Andy. But I wish them a happy marriage. Back to you. So many of them are like that. It's so funny. Okay, a few more questions. I'm going to ask you. Did you play any like? Were there any of those songs where everybody came to the dance floor? Like, did you have shout or the Hokey Pokey or the Bunny Hop or any of those? There
Kristin Nilsen 32:35
were a couple that were by accident that weren't intended that way. Of course, there was Shout a little bit louder now. Yeah, yeah. Of course, there was that, but I will never forget this, and my brother never will either, because we had never seen my mother dance, and all of a sudden, my mother is on the dance floor going, "Jeremiah was a bullfrog. She was a good friend of mine. We're like, "Linda, where did you learn to cut a rug like that? And having the mother of the bride-I mean, she-I had only heard like Barry Manilow and the carpenter. She was just like out there in her mother of the bride dress, and so that brought everybody out. Yeah, the other thing that brought everybody out was don't stop till you get enough, because the bride was teaching everybody how to do the bus stop? That's right. And there's a picture of me. I've got my shoes off, and I'm like, okay, to the right, to the left. We're gonna go forward, turn around. I have to this day. I will have people say, I remember when you taught us how to do the bus stop. Oh, that's so fun.
Carolyn Cochrane 33:35
Well, that's my hope that Michelle and Kristen are maybe going to teach our attendees for Maggie's wedding, how to do the bus stop. So we'll have to report on that. For us, the one that got everybody out. Well, I shouldn't say everybody. In my mind, it's everybody, but it's like my parents and all their friends because so many of my guests were from New York and my side of the family. So the New York, New York Frank Sinatra song, you know, Bread, and then you know you do your
Kristin Nilsen 34:02
legs. Everybody yes, and everyone's just
Carolyn Cochrane 34:04
probably a little three sheets, six sheets, eight sheets to the wind at that point.
Michelle Newman 34:08
And I didn't have any of this. I was very adamant with our DJ about not wanting to do like hokey type dances, like the chicken dancer, you know, whatever. But I had a long list of songs. These all must be played, and I remember one that I know got everybody a lot of songs because we had a lot of college friends there. So a lot of the songs we had danced to in college, like the New Order type songs or whatever. And for sure, the time I've had the time of my life because that was, I mean, you know, that had only been like four years before or five years before. So that was a big song for me through college, so that would have been one for sure. Think
Carolyn Cochrane 34:43
how you know that was a job for our DJs back then. Like they had to do some a lot of labor involved, whether it was pre mixing something. But I feel like ours had had records. Oh, mine had records for sure. You have the crates. You
Kristin Nilsen 34:56
bring your crates of records. Yes, exactly.
Carolyn Cochrane 34:59
And ours. We paid extra getting back to the disco ball. I I didn't know this, but Andy really wanted a disco ball at our wedding, and that was an extra in the package from our DJ. So it was like I don't even know how it got attached or where it was.
Kristin Nilsen 35:13
That's his problem.
Carolyn Cochrane 35:14
All right, a couple of last minute things here. Did you have a wedding favor for your guests? Did they leave with a little something? And I'm curious. Yes,
Michelle Newman 35:21
yeah, the favors are so different. So when I say this right now, you guys are maybe anticipating I'm going to talk about something really giant. No, no, no. You know the little they're called oh something mints. It's a ball, and the inside is a mint, and then it's covered in chocolate, and then a hard candy shell, and they're the same color as the Jordan almonds, they're like pale green and pastel pink and white. And I ordered, gosh, you guys, where did I even find to order like little boxes? Yeah, they came flat. I mean, how did I know? Because they had like our initials on them and like the date of the wedding. I still have a whole bunch in a in a. I would have been
Carolyn Cochrane 35:58
in in Brides magazine or you had a Friday because
Michelle Newman 36:00
when we moved here to Denver almost three years ago, there was a tub in our basement in Minnesota that had you know because we probably got you know 300 and we only had 100 people at our wedding, but I had saved all the extra flat boxes. But you had to fold them all, you know, and like put the little slot in the, and then I put a little piece of like netting, and then like this little bag that I put the mints in. And how many mints do you put in each? So then those were just on everybody's. But I had to fold them all, and it wasn't a lot. We didn't have a huge wedding, but that was our big. That was our prize for people. Yes, you get to take home some mints.
Kristin Nilsen 36:36
And my mom really wanted the Jordan almonds, and I was like, Landa, my life is too precious for folding the little boxes and putting the netting in. And I was like, if that's important to you, I invite you to go ahead and do that. But I'm not doing
Michelle Newman 36:50
it. Yeah, yeah.
Kristin Nilsen 36:51
And I never said there was very little I said no to. I was like, and my thing was always, if that's important to you, go ahead. I don't mind, but don't ask me to participate. Yeah. I also had to wrap
Michelle Newman 37:02
up all the little nets of birdseed for them to throw at us when we left.
Carolyn Cochrane 37:07
That was one of my next questions. I'm going to just inform you all that I did have the Jordan almonds and I did have them and wrapped in the little tool with, yeah, with little. And was that your
Michelle Newman 37:17
only gift, Carolyn?
Carolyn Cochrane 37:18
That was my only gift. Yes, yes, yes. So we're all on the same
Michelle Newman 37:21
page. We're all just, you know, they're a little
Carolyn Cochrane 37:24
more elaborate these days. Are we getting gifts, Carolyn? Are we going to get gifts? You are going to get gifts. What? Do you want to know?
Kristin Nilsen 37:30
I think you should tell our listeners. I think they want to know. Okay. The listeners want to know what we're getting. And this
Carolyn Cochrane 37:35
is a thing that maybe you've seen on the internets because that's where you know where they come from. Found that. But she's a. friend who does this. So you are going to get, if you choose, you don't have to do it, a watercolor illustration of you and your guests. What? Yeah. Oh, stop it! I've seen
Michelle Newman 37:53
that.
Carolyn Cochrane 37:54
I don't think you'll have a face. I think. Yeah, they just have those. Yeah, yeah. Because they change
Michelle Newman 38:00
everything for me about what I plan to wear.
Carolyn Cochrane 38:02
Yeah, hold on just a second. At this table, and then she'll paint them, and while you're at the reception, yeah. Oh my god,
Kristin Nilsen 38:11
painting.
Carolyn Cochrane 38:12
Yeah, it's very quick, and then some little like personalized shortbread cookies will be at your at your wow,
Kristin Nilsen 38:20
personal like the personal. Well, not to me. Yeah, it'll be mirrors. Crystal me. Yeah, yeah.
Carolyn Cochrane 38:26
No, not that much. Okay, rice or birdseed?
Kristin Nilsen 38:29
Neither. He's throwing it at me. Where? Too much. I don't get. We don't. I don't. She's
Carolyn Cochrane 38:34
ready for Kristen. I don't want things pelted at me.
Michelle Newman 38:38
I have so much birdseed in my hair, like I mean, I was taking a shower and I could just feel it, like gravel in my hair. Yeah, we had
Carolyn Cochrane 38:46
birdseed and we had a couple of like drunk fraternity brothers and stuff who'd thought like, let's just launch it, Adam, like that. Yeah, Maggie is having, and maybe Michelle or Kristen, you've been to weddings like this, like a little ribbon wand that you all will just wave when they come out. Okay, so here's
Kristin Nilsen 39:03
the question. I think this is why I didn't have either of those because it, um, I didn't. You would have to set it up, like you'd have to set up how you ran through and where and why. I'm like, well, I'm already out of the church, and then I'm getting in my RV. That's another story I'll tell you about the RV. Oh yeah. So it seemed like it was performative for something. Do you understand what I'm saying? Yeah, I totally understand how to do it. Yeah, yeah. So you have to arrange it, right? Like you have to basically choreograph the event.
Carolyn Cochrane 39:32
Yeah, I mean, basically, like for us, it was that night was ending. You know, I don't know what night we time we had to be out of the room, and then the DJ just said, okay, everyone. Carolyn and Andy are heading out. Okay, meet outside whatever door. And yeah, and so on. That note, I want to know what you got into when you left. So, did you get into a car that was decorated? Did you get into a limo? Did you get into you know your spouse, your significant other's car, or your. Car, Kristen, please share because it sounds like you got into something interesting.
Kristin Nilsen 40:03
There are two places. There's getting into a vehicle to go from the church to the reception, and then there's after the reception going to wherever you're staying that night to your hotel or whatever. So I just to be cheeky and shake things up a little bit. I I didn't want things to be too serious because here's the truth, you guys. I was not ready to get married. I wanted to marry Mike, but I could have easily done it five years from now.
Carolyn Cochrane 40:26
Somebody else. No, you were giving us this big stupid. No, no,
Kristin Nilsen 40:30
I just wanted to marry Mike. That was my whole thing. And whether it was then or whether it was five years from them, so the the wedding, I I felt this is like therapy now. I felt too young to get married. There, okay, that's what is. I felt too young to get married, so it all felt very formal and and grown up, and I was trying to take it down a notch. And so instead of getting a lem a limo or something serious, which felt too grown up to me, I got an RV, and my mom was beside herself, just like this was this was so this was so embarrassing, and I was like, "Too bad, it's my wedding. And so the the pictures are hilarious, and the people it was they loved it because it was so unexpected, and it just made everybody laugh. And we're like, you know, hanging out of the RV and waving, and there's so many great pictures. So the wedding party gets on the RV, and we're and the reception site was quite far away, and we ran out of booze on the RV. So we had to stop. We had to have the RV stop at a liquor store to refill the RV. Classic. And then we pull up to this place. I have no idea what it was or where we were. And he and the driver's like, here we are, and I look out the window and I'm like, this is not it, this is not where the reception is, and so Mike goes up there and they're trying to figure out where we are and where we need to go. We have no GPS, right? We have no phones. All we know is that it's in Monticello, Minnesota, and so, but he doesn't. He thought he was at the right place, so you can't. We had to like make phone calls and find out how to get there. So we showed up at the reception site after like being in a completely different city, and so then we get off the RV, and it was super fun. And everybody's completely wasted because we've been on the RV and already refilled the RV with alcohol. When we left, because we didn't do the they're leaving or anything like that. We the just the thing died and I was the last one there and because I didn't want to miss any of the fun. I'm like, why would I leave it? I wanted yeah, and it's it's a dance floor issue. Let's be honest, I'm not leaving the dance floor.
Michelle Newman 42:34
Yeah,
Kristin Nilsen 42:35
and so when the DJ is done, I'll go, but that not until then. And so I believe we got into either Mike's car, no, but it was like a sedan. So maybe it was his best man's car, and it wasn't decorated or anything like that. And there was no like, see you later. It was everybody just left. It was very unceremonious. I think ours was at the end too. But we had a limo though
Michelle Newman 42:59
take us from the wedding.
Carolyn Cochrane 43:01
We just we rented a Lincoln Town car, and Andy drove it. And then we were staying in the hotel where our reception was, so we just got in it and just drove around the block. Actually, I take that back. We did not just drive around the block. We went to Taco Cabana and got because we didn't really eat that much at our because Andy didn't say taste your food, right? Exactly. Yeah. And so yeah, we got we got some bean and cheese tacos, and then we went back in my wedding dress. Yes, in the drive-through. You guys, that was so fun. I feel like I've learned even more about you guys. Like I thought I knew everything, and we've talked a little bit about our own weddings before, and and things in some of our other episodes. But it was just so fun to get your scoop on some of those little details that I didn't necessarily know. And if I had it pegged correctly, because I did have some answers in my head for how you would answer predictions. Yes, exactly. Some predictions, and some I was right, and some I was wrong. But I will let you know: you both scored 100. You both answered correctly for your weddings. I'm the winner, except for the ones
Kristin Nilsen 44:10
where I couldn't remember. Yeah, we're all the winner,
Carolyn Cochrane 44:13
right? Yeah, it's been so fun again revisiting our our weddings, my wedding, your weddings, and remembering really that every generation thinks that their wedding trends are timeless until the photos come in, and then we look at them decades later, and maybe question some of our choices. But still, our dusty leather-bound wedding albums, and I'm sure we all have tucked away. And
Kristin Nilsen 44:34
that's so funny. Just this week, somebody posted a picture of their parents' wedding on Instagram, and they clearly got married in the early '70s because it was a flower girl dress that I had, and the bride was wearing a floppy hat. Remember when everybody had a floppy hat? All
Carolyn Cochrane 44:51
growing up, I was like, my bridesmaids are gonna have floppy hats, and they're gonna all have a different color, like yellow and yellow and a pastel,
Kristin Nilsen 44:59
like the ribbon. Tight in a bow with the long tails, like under your boobs. I love it. It was they make for the. It's exactly what you're saying. Where until we look at the pictures, and then you're like, yikes! But if you get far enough away, those pictures are precious. Those early '70s floppy hat photos are so precious.
Carolyn Cochrane 45:18
Oh, they are. And so were those wedding albums. I mean, I just pored over my parents' wedding album. Same, like, yeah. I, my kids. I don't think they poured over mine as much as I poured over my parents. Never looked at ours. I would just get it out just to look at it, and I would tell story, like make up stories about different people in pews and all of that. I like some of those photos memorized in my head. I do too much so that I made our photographer kind of reenact some of them, like the one where you know everyone's looking at their watch. Did you guys have that? What's that for? So I thought that that was a common thing, but my dad has a there's a photo in my parents' album of my dad and his groomsmen all looking at their watches, and the whole idea my dad said was the photographer said like make sure you're not gonna be late. Like, you're all looking at your watch. He's like, "Is it time yet? And like, the best man is pointing. And so I made our photographer do. I said, "Andy, you have got to have this. I mean, this is a must. And he was like, kind of like you guys. Like, what the hell, Carolyn? What? Like, what is there not wearing? People aren't wearing watches. I said, they just have to look at the person next to them. So there's this picture, and I bought it for our album because you know you get all those proofs and you pick what's right. Oh, I remember
Kristin Nilsen 46:25
picking the photos. Oh my god! Well, now you pretty much
Carolyn Cochrane 46:29
get them all, you know, and they're all retold and all of those things. Yeah, but do you put them in an album? I I don't know. I mean, I don't know. That's a good question. The albums anymore, but yeah. So we, I would guess, we all have our leather-bound albums that I don't like has our in gold. It has our monogram. Your monogram, yeah, have stuff engraved.
Kristin Nilsen 46:49
We have in our album we have one photo of our best man giving a toast, and his eyes were closed. I mean, this is film photography, people. It's a long time ago, and his eyes were closed, so the photographer drew eyes. Yes, she drew eyes. It almost looks like it's by hand. He looks like a zombie, but the truth is, I'll never forget that toast. And part of it is because the picture, the zombie picture, reminds me of it, and it was the best toast because he said he remembered the day that Mike saw me in the cafeteria, and Mike was like, "There she is. That's the one. And Chad said, "You're not going to get that, dude. Like that's not going to happen.
Michelle Newman 47:30
Dream on. Dream on. Yeah.
Carolyn Cochrane 47:32
Well, whether your wedding featured gargantuan puff sleeves, a VHS videographer, Jordan almonds, or Holland mints, disposable cameras, some things have not changed because there might still be some disagreement between moms and brides. Yes, can attest to that. And weddings still cost a pretty penny, but ultimately we are celebrating this new chapter with our family and friends, and I can't wait to celebrate with you guys. I know I can't wait.
Michelle Newman 47:59
This will be so fun. It
Kristin Nilsen 48:00
does feel like it's a milestone for me. Like my friend's child is getting married. It's my first one. It's my first friend's child getting married.
Michelle Newman 48:08
Ah,
Kristin Nilsen 48:08
it's my first one. Yeah, everybody pay attention to me. Yes, yes, I know. I just have fun.
Michelle Newman 48:13
Remind myself we're there to celebrate, Maggie. Yeah, that's not about us. Oh, it's all just our friend. Look, oh, Kristen, let's just. I'm gonna be like, okay, Michelle. Where's the talker? Get a picture of us, right? Right. Just
Carolyn Cochrane 48:24
all the joy. I think that we will have joy just spreading throughout the the event, and that's what it's supposed to be about. And here's
Kristin Nilsen 48:31
the thing for you, mother of the bride, and Maggie. I hope you're listening to this. This is what I said on the day that I get married. I thought of all the terrible things that could happen. Everything raining, things not arriving, the cake falls on the floor, and I was like, "Bring it on, bring all of it on, because at the end of the day, I want to be married to Mike, and I was, and it made me una. I was so unnervous about anything because I had already reconciled the fact that everything would go wrong, but I would still be married. Aw, I love that. In the meantime, let's raise our glasses for a toast, courtesy of the cast of Three's Company. This is for you, Maggie. Two good times, two happy days, to that little house on the prairie. Cheers! That's fun.