CHiPs Roller Disco: The Most Seventies of 70s TV Episodes

Kristin Nilsen 0:00

You have Mary Ingalls and you have the lawyer from Beverly Hillbillies. She's like, she's like, TV's first lesbian icon next to Mary Ingalls and her and her very feminine cowl neck sweater, and she's just very demure. And Nancy Culp is like, where's the memo? Hello.

Unknown Speaker 0:21

Well, there's a song that we're singing.

Unknown Speaker 0:24

Come on, get

Unknown Speaker 0:31

happy. We'll make you happy.

Kristin Nilsen 0:35

Welcome to the pop culture Preservation Society, the podcast for people born in the big wheel generation, who knew that the best use for a pencil was rewinding your kinked up and unspooled cassette tape?

Carolyn Cochrane 0:48

We believe our Gen X childhoods gave us unforgettable songs, stories, characters and images, and if we don't talk about them, they'll disappear like Marshall will and Holly on a routine expedition,

Michelle Newman 0:59

and today we're saving the most 70s of the 70s TV episodes where you had to know how to roller skate to even get a part, the iconic two part chips, roller disco episodes. I'm Carolyn, I'm Kristen and I'm Michelle, and we are your pop culture preservationists. You

Kristin Nilsen 1:31

Today's episode is like a dream come true, a fantasy becoming reality and truly, it was one of the inspirations for we three podcasters when we knew we had this great idea for starting a podcast all about the pop culture of our Gen X childhoods. Because, like Michelle said in the opening, there is nothing more 70s than the roller disco episode of chips. Big C, big H, little I, big P, little less. It was so red hot of the moment that it was doomed to be outdated in about 20 minutes. But they did not care. They swung for the fences, and now it serves as a hedonistic time capsule of what we wanted our lives to look like. It was like a clarion call to all of us watching on our big Zenith console TVs sitting on the shag carpeting to get on up and join the 70s Get thee to the roller rink and say yes to going around in a circle to the soundtrack of the moment. But it was like hedonism times 10 because it was on wheels. Oh my god. So it's multiplied, and they were making everyone in Hollywood participate.

Michelle Newman 2:43

You know what we were always like when we talk about a Love Boat episode, or battle of the network stars, with all these stars, and we're like, Oh, can you even imagine? Well, we've disclosed that none of us were cruise people, right? And battle of the network stars, I'm not really athletic, but give me some roller skates. Let's do it and put me in on in a rink with all these different Hollywood stars from like every generation. There's nothing better. That's our lovely dream come true. I

Carolyn Cochrane 3:13

agree. I think we need to try and recreate this. I think there are enough people in the era, even celebrities, who remember this episode? Yes? And would be like, Yeah, I'll come and do that.

Unknown Speaker 3:24

I mean, we know people now we could

Michelle Newman 3:26

invite people. We've talked about having a roller like a roller rink party. Why not invite you know John and punch okay, I'm manifesting it. Yes. Well, this iconic two part episode kicked off chips his third season and aired September 22 1979 guest starring Larry Linville. Frank burns from Mash. If you remember Bill Daley now, I'm already going into my announcing and oh my gosh, I Dream of Jeannie Bob Newhart, among a million others. I love him. I love Bill Davis, Leif Garrett, we'll talk a lot about him in a minute. Fred Williamson, now, he was a former Oakland Raiders, Kansas City Chiefs football star. He also starred in the TV show Julia and others. Yeah. So he was like an actor. I mean, this wasn't his first you know, rodeo. Jim Brown, who's often mentioned as the greatest player in NFL history. He was a fullback for the Cleveland Browns, the Dirty Dozen. He was in and others. And there are really four storylines in this two part episode, but two of them are really just not that important. So I'm going to give you all my one minute rundown of those with ample alliteration. Already started it. I've already you guys know how I love alliteration, so I want you to set your timers, because here we go. It's skate town on the boardwalk, because everyone, and I mean everyone, is on roller skates, including a team of pickpockets who come up with all. All kinds of ingenious ways to use their roller skating skills to help them flee the scene quickly. Think retractable roller skate wheels hidden in the wooden soles of platform sandals that pop out with the push of a button. Basically the 1979 version of Healy's a young boy who has a hot sister Ponch contemplates hitting on for a hot second, is enamored with the rolling robbers and pulls his own heist, which leads to high speed highway hijinks with the boy burglar holding onto the tail of a station wagon for far too long for him to still be alive. Meanwhile, a pair of Scooby Doo bingy Apple Dumpling gang like con artists devise a way to terminate tailgaters and install a sparkling system on their tailpipe, which leads to a high speed highway Chase and introduces us to rock star Jimmy Tyler, aka Leif Garrett, which is truly the only purpose of that storyline. Time,

Kristin Nilsen 5:52

there's so much I could say about all of that. I mean, yes, we're condensing it down to one minute, but I just have to comment on the little roller skating and he has more freckles than you can count. And he's like, a tiny little wannabe criminals. He's watching the pickpockets. Is like, Hey, I could do that. And so how boy burglar? He's a boy he's a boy burglar. Yeah, he's like, Hamburglar, except in boy form. And so he copies them. And he when he steals for the first time, he has to, like, now he's got to do his getaway. Everybody does their getaway on roller skates. That's what this episode is about, yes, except this boy can't really skate that well, and so it's the slowest getaway in TV history. And so everybody in the scene has to go slower, like if you're running after him, you can't catch him, so you got to go a little slower. And then he does his one trick, which is he squats down, and that's so that he can FOIL the person who's trying to get him, except the person who's trying to get him has to, like, stop and wait for him to do his one trick, and then go, oh, I fell.

Unknown Speaker 6:53

Whoa,

Michelle Newman 6:55

whoa. Oh, you guys, and can we please talk about so when he's holding on to the bumper, but the old lady driving the car never knows, and like, the guy next to her is like, and he's like, and then she gets mad. She's like, pointing like, meanwhile, the little boy holding on, flying down the freeway at

Kristin Nilsen 7:18

like 60 miles, not on surface streets. He's roller skating, holding the bumper on the cat, like, on the 405,

Unknown Speaker 7:26

hey. He's like, screaming

Speaker 1 7:29

because he's scared. And the guy in the car next was like,

Unknown Speaker 7:33

Stop,

Unknown Speaker 7:35

faced boy holding on to your bumper.

Michelle Newman 7:40

She's like, and she's just like, what?

Kristin Nilsen 7:45

But here's the best part, like he's holding on, and they're going, hey, hey, and then cue the chips theme.

Speaker 1 7:54

And I immediately get nipple lightning. I'm like, yes, let's do this. And here come John, and punch

Michelle Newman 8:01

that little boy is really, you can tell when the car slowing down and punch and John show up. He's really like a 29 year old, smaller woman jockey, who they've put, who they've put, of shaggy wig on and the stripy shirt. And they're like Levi Wranglers, you know, the 405,

Carolyn Cochrane 8:23

yeah, well, I would say the chips. Directors would really love me, because I never catch any of that stuff. So I'm like, Oh God, so battle boy, I did never even when. Well, there's some other stunt scenes where I thought, I think that's really Jim Brown,

Kristin Nilsen 8:39

but John and punch they had a cup. There were some wig scenes with, oh, man on a punch. You know why?

Michelle Newman 8:44

It's because Larry Wilcox can't roller skate at

Unknown Speaker 8:47

all, skate sometimes. And

Michelle Newman 8:49

that was sad he's doing, he's like, doing that, walking on all and he's

Kristin Nilsen 8:54

trying, but he's trying to go fast. And it's like, when I can't do crossovers. And so you're doing, like, the the turn where you're, like, picking up your feet and putting him down really fast so you can turn that's that's poor John. That's Baker.

Michelle Newman 9:04

Anyway, what we really need to talk about today are these two key plot lines. One Life Garrett as a pop star named Jimmy Tyler, who is suffering from exhaustion and wants to rid himself of his manager, major Healy. I mean Howard Borden. I mean Bill Daley and the CHP skate with the stars benefit, which is really the reason we're all here, that's

Kristin Nilsen 9:29

right, and poncha is in charge of that. He has to get all the stars, and he's having a lot of trouble getting all those stars. And we opened this episode with the most awkward and apropos of nothing scene, so much so that it that it kind of took me by surprise. I was like, oh, oh, my, oh, okay, here we go. Here we go. The camera pans to show you the Venice Beach boardwalk. There's no reason for this scene. There's no story that takes place here. It's just to set the. Scene for this episode, and there's a circle of people. So, you know, something's gonna happen in the middle, right? Somebody has to go in the middle. And so then two women come roller skating into the middle, doing these Herky jerky dance moves that wiggle everything that is not covered by the teeny, tiny bikini that they're wearing. I mean, that takes confidence, serious

Michelle Newman 10:24

confidence, scared for their knees, like their knees. Nobody

Carolyn Cochrane 10:28

had elbow pads. Yes, nothing like that. There had to be scabs

Michelle Newman 10:33

where. I mean, no one scabs on their bodies. I know,

Carolyn Cochrane 10:38

insane, and I thought in that initial scene, in the circle. I kept slowing it down because I was sure that that was Aaron Moran. Was the one of the skate was, yes she did. It was

Michelle Newman 10:48

Joanie, yes, Herky jerky,

Kristin Nilsen 10:50

so that, you know, like, if I did it now, just the wings on the backs of my arms would just be like flapping in the wind, Herky jerky and tube socks. So you have a teeny weeny, tiny bikini, and then tube socks all the way up to your knees, and I swear to God, so remember, this is the 70s, right? You can see the little pillow of pubic hair under the bikini bottoms.

Michelle Newman 11:13

Oh, yeah, I didn't notice that, but that's not hiding a lot. I'm kind of glad to go back and watch

Carolyn Cochrane 11:19

it. Yeah, from the nipples we see to everything, yeah, everything, everything is left to the imagination. And

Kristin Nilsen 11:26

it's like, Would you wear a leotard to roller skate? Lots of people were wearing leotards just out on the I

Michelle Newman 11:32

mean, I don't know. Wait till this fall, and I'll let you know. Also, we have to everything you're hearing listeners is set to this bowling

Kristin Nilsen 11:46

it's like a disco beat under it's like porno music with the disco beat underneath it. Oh, and then I was like, high kicks on roller skate in a wrong on roller skates in a bikini. Again, confidence. That's a lot of confidence. And then remember, there's this small boy with the bowl cut and the face full of freckles, because, you know, it's the 70s, you have to have a small boy with a with a bowl cut. And he comes awkwardly skating through this crowd of Bikini skaters, and he is completely covered in clothing like long pants, long sleeves. He has elbow pads on, and these women are wearing less than underwear, like their underwear is much bigger than what they're wearing on when they're roller skating. There was one naked man. There was one man who was wearing tiny, tiny clothes, and he was playing a saxophone.

Michelle Newman 12:35

Oh, yeah, so saxophone, yeah, please use alliteration. Kristen, saxophone skater, saxophone skater,

Kristin Nilsen 12:40

just teeny weeny, tiny shorts. And you would think, tell me, anyone who has experience with Venice Beach in the 70s, did anyone walk?

Carolyn Cochrane 12:49

Or was it much? Well, because we've talked about these skimpy outfits some of these skaters were wearing, but there were also people, I swear they had like a suit on and carrying a briefcase. It was all walks of life. When you set a pan of the boardwalk, it would be like an older lady with a purse. It just so to your point, did anyone

Michelle Newman 13:10

walk crazy? No, not on this day, at least, sure.

Carolyn Cochrane 13:16

Okay, so we're going to skip ahead a little bit, and we're going to get to meet Leif Garrett for the first time. I know Jimmy Tyler. I will tell you that in between the scene Kristen described and the scene I'm gonna describe, we do get a little vignette of our friend Larry Linville and his This is our Apple Dumpling gang. So we've got Larry Linville and the actor, Larry Stork, and they are sick of being tailgated on these on the 101405, yeah, and they kind of soup up this car that ends up just being it shoots out fireworks. It's just insane and crazy, but they're gonna get back at all the tailgaters that have tormented them their whole lives on these California highways.

Kristin Nilsen 13:58

And Frank Burns has got, like he's got a real revenge problem,

Carolyn Cochrane 14:03

rage going on. He's got some rage.

Kristin Nilsen 14:05

He's very frank burns like there's nothing different about Frank. In fact, he might be frank burns on steroids, and he had like, almost like a DR shrinker aspect to him, where he just he would have this evil laugh or go after

Carolyn Cochrane 14:19

doing some pretty horrific things, as we will soon find out. So let's fast forward. You guys, we meet life Garrett for the first time in the back of a limo. Okay? And I just want you all to know this is not your 1970s limo. This is like what Cornelius Vanderbilt would have been riding in. It is that kind of literally strange? Yeah, like belongs in another time era there were

Kristin Nilsen 14:44

roses on the wall of the limousine. I was like, is that a vase with

Carolyn Cochrane 14:48

flowers on the wall? Literally, it looked like it should be in an antique car museum. It just did not belong in the left lane of a California freeway, tailgating. Yeah. Gary Lynnville,

Speaker 1 15:00

okay, Hong Kong, get out of my way. Hong Kong,

Carolyn Cochrane 15:04

insane. So in this limousine, we meet Jimmy Tyler, along with his manager, Bill Daley slash ball figure, I don't even his name, if he had a first name in this

Speaker 1 15:14

Howard, yeah, I just always called him Howard Borden. So

Carolyn Cochrane 15:17

we quickly learned that Leif Garrett, our teen idol, Jimmy Tyler, is exhausted from all that balford is having. Tired. Meanwhile, balford is still he's on the phone, like there's a car

Unknown Speaker 15:31

phone, but it's like a rotary

Unknown Speaker 15:34

phone in the

Unknown Speaker 15:35

car, actual phone.

Carolyn Cochrane 15:36

Yes, archaic, 1920s rolls, Royce, limo, whatever he's talking and he's just not talking to anyone. He's talking to Merv. Okay, we're not talking to mervs, like reps, we're talking to me Hey, Merv. Yeah, yeah. Jimmy will be on this day on your show. Yeah, sure. Friday is great. Hangs up. Oh my gosh. Phone ring right. Hey, Mike. This is Mike Douglas, everybody. Yeah, Thursday. Thursday, YEAH. Jimmy will be on your show on Thursday. Meanwhile, Jimmy exhaustion. His eyes are rolling in the back of his head. He is just exhausted. He cannot deal with this. Okay, so meanwhile, then our chauffeur, Honk, honk, honk. Larry Linville in front of us, pissed off, pissed off. He pushes the firework button or whatever, and all these sparks come flying out of the back of his car, and, oh my gosh, the chauffeur driver doesn't know what to do. Well, not chauffeur driver, that's redundant, isn't it, the chauffeur just starts kind of going back and forth, like, basically, like, yeah. And then we have, what we have come to love on ships, is one of our classic crash scenes. It was so good. All so good preaching. All the slow motion cars flipping the Ford Granada goes upside down, plans on its roof. All these cars are everywhere, and Larry Linville has this evil laugh as he pulls away. This was a catastrophic multi car crash. And his little sidekick, Larry Storch, is a little bit like that was not good, like somebody might have been killed. Well, Frank does not care, as he drives away, okay, well, of course, this has to set our chips. Our California Highway Patrol have to come to the rescue. So soon enough, punch and John are on the scene, and it's interesting because her upside down cars and all these things, but punch makes it right over to the limousine, which is still upright, talks to the chauffeur, who's like, I've never seen anything like this. Bill Daley is all concerned in the back, like, Hey, we've got this. We've got Do you know who this is? And they open the car door, and life is on the floor of the limo in like a, well, well, yes, exactly. And as soon as Bill Daley Lets punch know that this is the Jimmy Tyler, punch is like, star struck. Oh my gosh, we've got, we might have a star fucker in our midst. Yeah, with punch, because he can't even talk. Okay, go from that scene right to the hospital. Okay, oh my gosh. Leif is in the hospital, and the doctor gives them some good news. Okay? And this doctor, everyone is, is an actor. I don't know his name, but he is one of those that would say in a commercial, I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV. That guy, okay? And he informs punch and John that, thank goodness, fortunately, because Leif was so tired and relaxed when the accident happened, his body just kind of went with the flow as he fell to the well right of the car, and that seeped around like a rag doll. Exactly no seat belt. But this is fortunate, because you know what? The doctor can't find a scrape, a scab, anything? A miracle. It is a miracle. Mr. Balfour,

Speaker 2 18:49

give me a straight doc. How is he? Well, fortunately, he was asleep and completely relaxed when the accident happened. If there's a mark on him, I can't find it. Ah, that's great, job. I mean, it's really great.

Carolyn Cochrane 19:03

But Leif is going to take advantage of this opportunity, because next scene, we have Ponch and John going into life's hospital room. He's laid up in bed, and he is milking it because he's exhausted, and he's going to stay in this hospital as long as he can. He doesn't want to go on Merv. He doesn't go on Mike. He doesn't want to go, and he is letting balford know this. And they get in a little bit of a back and forth, and all of a sudden, balford is no more. He's fired, and he has to leave, get out the scene, and Ponch and John are witness to all of this. Okay, yes, they have to be right. So they feel a little bad, I think, for life, they go outside to talk to balford, who is really grateful for their help. Like, thank you so much for, you know, saving us and getting life to or Jimmy to the hospital and basically, punch takes this opportunity to go, Hmm, you're a manager, you're a talent agent, and you're really grateful for all we did. Hey, do you happen to know any celebs? I happen to be you know the chairman of this or skate with the stars. And do you have access to some stars? And Bill Daley says, I think I can help you out. Boy does he, yes. And so punch is all excited like this could be the best thing that ever happened to this charitable event. And from there, we come to find out, Will balford be able to get the stars, or won't he? Who will the stars be? Will they show up? We don't know. We will soon find out.

Kristin Nilsen 20:38

Okay, so then we're back to the boardwalk because, because Ponch has to find some skaters, he's got to find some skaters for his skate with the stars event. And again, we've got circles of people and people skating in the middle. And again, the choreo is just so jarring. These people are gonna have back problems.

Michelle Newman 20:55

Well, they do that thing like that, like that Russian kick thing out, where you then hop back on your hands, and then you one leg flips out while the other one's like bent up, and they keep doing it back and forth. Now, meanwhile, you have to understand the skates are like rolling out. I don't know I was, I was very uncomfortable watching it, because I also thought there was going to be some big wardrobe malfunctions. And

Kristin Nilsen 21:17

I kept like I was looking with one eye, because every time a woman would split her legs open. You know, shaving was not really a thing in the 70s. I'm like, how, how was she got worse. I was very nervous, yeah, wardrobe malfunction. It was very, very nervous. To

Carolyn Cochrane 21:30

mention, you've got to figure there were some wardrobe malfunctions that wouldn't have had to be sensors, so those had to be scenes that were cut out. And also, mind you, these camera angles and the shots we're getting, we don't see the skaters faces that often. We are like, that's right at their butt, right at their chest. I mean, it's boobs and butt all day long with these skaters, and they're shaking

Kristin Nilsen 21:52

holy camel toe because the little bowl cut criminal his older sister, it's like the i can't i It's like a W, it's a, yeah, thank you. Thank you. I was trying to think of a more Gentile way of saying it. There is such a W, you're that you almost you're like, look away. Look away. But they're gonna put it on TV. The shorts are just so, so tiny. And when we're at this choreo event on the Venice, on the on the boardwalk. Here come John and punch on roller skates. So that's exciting, but this is the scene we were talking about earlier, where John is clear, John can't skate. He can't skate. And then the bad guys come there, and the bad guy there's the one woman who has the little Heelys, who has the the roller skates in her platform sandals, yeah, and she is wearing the unbuttoned pants, and she wears like a little handkerchief over her boobs. So I don't know how she keeps the handkerchief on, but when they take off, John and punch, luckily, they've been at this roller skating event so they can roller skate after them. Go,

Michelle Newman 22:53

go, go, right. But it's so it's so obvious, because when you, like you said, when you first see John and punch, John is truly, you guys picture like the tin man from the Wizard of Oz, yes, yes, right? But all of a sudden, when it's from the back view, and they have to chase the the lady, you know, yeah, he's just flying on his skates, like it's a

Kristin Nilsen 23:15

suddenly he can skate, and his stance is so wide, like his feet are five feet apart, and he's just going, like, trying to get over there. He's pumping his arms, just pumping his arms so he can keep up with punch. It's really bad. So funny. So then, Meanwhile, back at the hospital, Jimmy is tired. That's like, his lonely mind. He literally is like, I'm tired. He keeps saying to major Healy, I'm tired. This is only line. And then He literally says, this is the line.

Speaker 3 23:49

How do you expect me to rest with you? Hovering over me like a vampire. I was like,

Speaker 1 23:57

hoovering. Like, take two. Let's correct maybe that was the best

Michelle Newman 24:06

hovering. Let's try that again. All right. Still rolling. Stone Rolling, nope.

Unknown Speaker 24:10

How am I supposed to rest with you

Michelle Newman 24:12

hoovering over me like this. They were, they were saving all their budget for Episode Two, the big skate, the big disc, that's right.

Kristin Nilsen 24:19

So like we said, Leif and major Healey have broken up, and he's like, Get out of here. And, you know, I had a little moment there with Leif Garrett slash Jimmy Tyler, where I was like, this is like, why I don't like Leif Garrett? Because every role he plays, he's a dick. He's

Carolyn Cochrane 24:36

a whiner. He's such he's a

Kristin Nilsen 24:38

whiner. He's not and I'm not saying Leif Garrett is a whiner. I'm saying the roles he's playing are unlikable people, and he's yelling at Howard Borden, and I'm not comfortable with that. And the only words he says to Howard Borden, slash major Healey, is I'm tired, and we'll get out of here and stop hoovering.

Michelle Newman 24:58

Just. He's just a whiny bitch. And he's a whiny bitch. He's not appealing in that. And also, major Healey slash Howard Borden is just doing his job, his job. Also, you can tell from previous dialog that he's kind of taken care of him, like he's kind of been his

Carolyn Cochrane 25:15

parents, yeah, like his dad, like his dad. And I just have to

Michelle Newman 25:19

introduce such the parents in this you guys. Commentary,

Carolyn Cochrane 25:24

yeah, where are the elbow pads? Where are the knee pads?

Kristin Nilsen 25:28

Be careful of your back. I just need to interject that I am not comfortable with Howard Borden in a silk shirt, unbuttoned to his belly button with gold chains, and does not. It's not like it didn't mesh, didn't mesh, and they don't like it. Sorry, Howard Borden, you can dress the way you like, but I'm just telling you I don't like it. So after he kicks Howard Borden out of his hospital room, he picks up the Push Button telephone and he says, Brian, bring me my Ferrari to the hospital right now and leave the keys over the visor. And I was like, again, parent, I'm like, that's not a good idea. You don't think that's where the thief's gonna look first, exactly put your keys there. That's where everybody's gonna look. Nonetheless, no one steals the Ferrari. And the next scene, we see lave Garrett slash Jimmy Tyler racing down the 405 in his Ferrari. He has escaped the hospital in his hospital issued bathrobe, and he's speeding down the highway, and he's pushing the speedometer past 80, past 90, oh no, past 100 and the look on his face is like, fuck this shit. Vroom. Vroom. And he's weaving in between cars, and when they cut back to his face. It's dripping with Visine to make fake tears, like, like they didn't have a napkin to mop up the extra. Like he went from Fuck this shit to covered in Visine his whole face. He wipes his nose with his bathrobe sleeve, and he's shaking his head, like, Oh no, what am I gonna do? And he was like, I forgot. I was tired. I'm tired, and now I'm sad too. And so he's like, I can't take it. And he just pulls over to the side of the 405, and he leans his head against the window. And so here's this Ferrari leaning, you know, just parked, parked, basically on the freeway. And, oh, big coincidence. Look who's coming. Here comes John Punch. John knows. He knows. He said, Oh no, this is Jimmy Tyler. He knows it's gonna be bad. What is this famous rock star doing out of the hospital in a Ferrari with his bathrobe on? And he walks over to the open car door, and he bends down on one knee, and says, Do you want to talk about

Speaker 4 27:42

it? Buddy Buddy,

Kristin Nilsen 27:46

sport. And so he looks at John, and he says, there's confusion in my head. Jimmy,

Unknown Speaker 27:54

want to tell me about it. It's confusion in my head. He's trying to work things out, and

Kristin Nilsen 28:03

he's just, he's gotta get away. How is he gonna get away? There's gotta be some place. Oh, but how about John's apartment? Yes, you can hide out there. And I know what you're expecting. You're like, this is gonna be awesome. You're gonna get to see the cool 70s bachelor pad of one of your most macho heroes, right? But no, at first I thought it was a joke and he was gonna be like, Ha, Ha, I'm really just living with my grandma right now. While my water bed is getting patched, it is so brown I've never seen so much Brown in my whole life, from the brown flowered wallpaper to the brown fridge, to the brown dustpan hanging on the wall the brown clothes in the closet. It makes Lafe Garrett's poop colored robe look like candy colored and he has antiques. I don't think any California highway patrolman should have antiques. It's not cool. He has a spice rack and a mug tree, right? All right, stuff that you would find in your grandma's house. There's a ship's

Michelle Newman 29:06

wheel on the wall. Well, I think this explains spider plant on the dining room table. It explains why he's still single. It really does

Kristin Nilsen 29:15

you walk in to be like, Is this who you really are? Yes, I thought you were

Carolyn Cochrane 29:18

mas Macho. And I think they want to give us also, he's the practical that is true. So, you know, red, right? Yeah, and all that

Kristin Nilsen 29:28

they may have over indexed on that. I think they did just a little bit. It was the dustpan that did me in the ship's whale for me. And the dust pan, you guys, you all had this dust pan, if you see it, you Oh, yeah, who? Skirt is 100 Yes, like a tin color, and it's brown. And then the apron part of the dust pan has, like, is white with sort of a filigree design on it looks

Carolyn Cochrane 29:50

like a corny where kind of very good description. So,

Kristin Nilsen 29:55

and of course, you'd hang that on the wall, wouldn't you? But you know what? Life does not care about the brown apartment. And he falls asleep on the couch immediately, because, remember, he's tired. So tired. Yeah. Okay, so now John and paunch are on a date with the camel toe twins, with Mark's older sister and her roller skating friend and and but they have to leave because part of the benefit of skating with the Stars is a roller beauty pageant. Why? Because how else can you get more women wearing nothing into the show? And John and Ponch have to leave their date with the camel toe twins to go over and just check that the trains are running on time. Of course, at the beauty at the rehearsal, yeah, yeah. Roller beauty pageant rehearsal, and one by one during their practice, all of the contestants, they shimmy, skate over to John and Ponch, they shimmy, skate, and then they jump, and they turn, and they basically present their butt. Ah, like, like, baboons. Yeah, like baboons. Like, it's mating season. It's like, jump, turn, present. And all the choreography for the pageant is the kind you would make up in your basement. Like you can tell when you're when you're uncomfortable dancing. You just dance with your arms. You don't do anything with your body. And so there's a lot of like, arm if your arms are moving, then you're dancing. So I when I skate, I push my arms down, push them down, push them down, push them down, because then you're dancing, and everybody has camel toe, not just the camel toe twins.

Michelle Newman 31:24

Well, even Sarge has, it's gross. I was about to say it's all the spandex. There were so much spandex.

Carolyn Cochrane 31:33

Okay, everybody, after our beauty pageant tryouts and all that, we are back at the poop colored apartment. Okay, we have another scene in John's apartment, but it looks a little different this time. Okay, because the poop is kind of hidden behind all of this recording equipment guys, it has become a recording studio slash office since the first time we've been in this apartment. I mean, there's amplifier, there's speakers, there are all these things. It's pretty bizarre when you think about it. And there's an old school phone, the kind that you can, like, hold. And Jimmy life is holding this phone, walking around, just like taking all the calls, and he's got this calendar, and he's like, trying to talk to MERV or Mike or whoever, and schedule things you can't double book me. And then John comes home and is just like looking around this apartment, and it's like, what the hell is going on? But meanwhile, Leif can't really deal with him, because Leif is on the phone.

Michelle Newman 32:26

When John comes in, he's like, What the hell is going on here? And he's like, like, hang on, hang on. I got you. And then he puts the phone down, and also he picks it up, and

Unknown Speaker 32:35

he goes, hello, London.

Carolyn Cochrane 32:40

Meanwhile, I want everybody to know that Jimmy has not changed out of the hospital gown. Slash, we're still wearing that bathrobe, which is just crazy Frank,

Kristin Nilsen 32:52

yes, no kidding, especially with all that stress from London. And I

Carolyn Cochrane 32:57

just want to take a little pause here, because bathrobes play a little bit of a scene. They have like a part in this time. We're in John's apartment, bathrobes were a big deal in the 70s, you guys. And there's one morning John wakes up, and he comes out to wake up Leif, who's asleep on the couch in his robe, and John is wearing a robe too. John is wearing a blue and white number that has a hood. It's good. But if, in case you needed to get, you know, you needed a warm up that does have the hood on the back, but it's got the tie. And, you know, he comes sauntering out in his robe, the only non brown thing in the entire scene, and he's trying to shake, you know, life up, because they've got to have a heart to heart, because he's really like, yeah, life is interfering with John's life. The manager's calling. Neighbors are calling because there are what girls screaming outside of the apartment, groupies out there. Somehow they found out, pre internet, we don't know, but somehow word on the street has gotten around, and they're outside go. I found this part really funny, too. So John's gonna have a heart to heart, and they're sitting at the bar, and John opens up his refrigerator and pours them two tall glasses of cold milk. So much milk. People,

Kristin Nilsen 34:06

you've never had this much milk in your life,

Carolyn Cochrane 34:09

yes. And I mean, is that not more seven? I mean, it's

Kristin Nilsen 34:13

like what your mom poured for you at the dinner table. Like if you had to have milk at dinner, that was like a rule, right? Inherently, you do when you wake up too. That

Michelle Newman 34:21

makes me want that gives me a gaggary phone. Gag reflex in my throat right

Carolyn Cochrane 34:24

now, I could never drink milk in the morning. That was just always a thing for me, and I didn't like wet cereal, so I never had it in my in my cereal. I just ate dry cereal for the most part. But it's interesting. The other day, Maggie said she was talking with somebody about dinner and having stuff to drink. And Maggie commented like, yeah, we always had a glass of milk at dinner. And her friends were like, ew, you drink milk at dinner. Like Maggie said, was were we odd that we had milk at dinner? Mom and I said, I don't think so. I grew up having milk at dinner. I just assumed everybody had milk at dinner. But I don't know if at some point, because parenting,

Kristin Nilsen 34:58

everybody became evil. Well, in our child, somewhere in our children's childhood, yeah, that was a bad thing.

Michelle Newman 35:04

My girls drank milk. I can still picture their little plastic cups that I would pour milk in for them. I don't think it was every night like it was with us. Yeah, I don't know.

Carolyn Cochrane 35:14

So anyway, we know that Leif is going to have to figure something out, yeah, eventually get out there, because John, he just can't do it anymore. He feels bad for Jimmy. I

Kristin Nilsen 35:22

think it became very clear that Leif Garrett does not understand healthy boundaries. He is a narcissist and a manipulator, and it's always someone else's fault. Everything is always someone else's fault. And then he repeats to John what he repeated to Howard Borden. And he was like, John, you did it to me, John, you did it to me. That's right. And I'm like, what do you what do you think he did to you? He let you stay in your apartment, and then you hijacked his apartment. And then so he's emotionally manipulating John while he hijacks his apartment. He's very unhealthy.

Carolyn Cochrane 35:55

Yes, totally. And he has a line that he says much with the same raw intensity that he pleads with Christy McNichol family, and he says,

Speaker 3 36:05

stealing my life, that's what I'm sick of. I mean, the guy runs my life for me, just once, just once I'd like to make a decision on my own. I'll concert date, a talk show, an album, anything I feel things I'm not just a piece of merchandise

Carolyn Cochrane 36:21

so poorly added, and you are immediately transported to I have feelings. I have families. Yes, I have needs. That's right, I have needs that manipulation, yes, yes,

Kristin Nilsen 36:34

the emotional manipulation. John, you did it to me. You did it to me. You didn't let me hijack your apartment. You are not a good person for letting me. I still needed to call France. Yes, I wasn't done making phone calls. He

Carolyn Cochrane 36:49

is a terrible, terrible actor. Yeah? Like, if that's the best scene, these scenes throughout the episode that they could get, yeah, I can imagine the worst scenes,

Michelle Newman 36:59

okay? But also, and, and I'm only saying this for the people listening that love life. Garrett, yes, we fully understand that your 1979 self was not there for his acting. You loved him. It's much like I thought Scott baios album was the best thing I'd ever heard, right you? You don't care. You're looking at it through life colored glasses. Welcome

Unknown Speaker 37:23

everybody to the CHP skate with the

Michelle Newman 37:32

stars benefit. Let's get to the reason they're all there and we're here. Let's be honest, right? That's right, the glorious skate with the stars benefit. And, I mean, we jump right into it too, right? And what you never see is we never see the announcer, which I wish we would have seen. So I'm gonna imagine he's up in, like the DJ booth, and he's just watching everybody there. Because otherwise, then you really get that it's just for the benefit of the television viewer, yeah. And in my mind, I need to imagine that he was there actually announcing for the other people, the roller skaters. We jump right in, because we got Melissa Sue Anderson and Nancy Culp understands this is the best pairing you've ever seen. You have Mary Ingalls and you have the lawyer from Beverly Hillbillies. She's

Kristin Nilsen 38:21

like, she's like, TV's first lesbian icon next to Mary Ingalls and her and her very feminine cowl neck, right? And she's just very demure. And Nancy Culp is like, where's the memo?

Michelle Newman 38:36

They're obviously very, kind of uncomfortable at the cameras, like, six inches from their face,

Kristin Nilsen 38:40

okay? Feels very, it feels very candid camera E or almost real reality TV, like these people aren't acting. I think they're really at, yeah, they're really at an event, yeah.

Michelle Newman 38:51

And some of the times the announcer is announcing these people that I'm about to share with you, they're skating, and sometimes they're just standing off to the side, like, when are they going to yell action? Like they're looking around like, are we live? Are we are we going? Lee Merryweather is skating with us tonight. Todd bridges, and you guys, you can tell Todd is there to skate like, right? He's doing that low skating thing where he's, like, pumping his arm, sprinting to the beat, yes, like he's sprinting in like a rock and roll Field Day, like competition, totally. George Peppard. Why George is there with a 70s Fox? I mean, she's got a tight t shirt on, she's got little short shorts, and she's holding George handsome George peppard's hand. And I had to stop that and go, you guys make a really handsome 70s couple. Didn't you think? Yes, I do. They looked really nice together. Dan Haggerty is with us tonight.

Carolyn Cochrane 39:50

He wasn't skating. He's on a bench, but you do see him. Oh, okay. Grizzly Adams, yes, he was giving some Travis Kelsey vibes to me. I paused it. Oh, my God. Dan when I saw him, he they say his name, but he's not on the rink. And, yeah, he was looking

Michelle Newman 40:05

kind of hot. That's really good. That's a really good comparison. That's a good zombies crush, Grizzly Adams. And then we see Dana Plato, and it's so sad you guys. She sort of looks like she's being held up by Todd bridges and Philip McKeon as they're skating, like they're both have, like, her arms, yeah, her arms are, like, around their shoulders, not like they're all linking arms, skating together. Yeah. It's like you do with someone that they were like, We got to get Dana some FaceTime, because she's been in the bathroom doing coca all night. But let's get her out.

Kristin Nilsen 40:32

And she always has her head down. She's never looking up at the camera or anything. Her head is kind of down with her hair. So you're like, is that Dana, or is that a roller skater? Run away? Well,

Michelle Newman 40:41

and well, and I feel like, for legal reasons, I need to go ahead and say to our listeners, we do not actually know that she was doing Yes, we that was just completely so we apologize,

Speaker 1 40:51

and we are concerned. Like, it's legitimately concerned we

Carolyn Cochrane 40:54

are. And let's face it, was so sad what she was going through. Like, 95% of the people in these in the scene, are on

Speaker 1 41:01

coke. That's probably true. That's not a stretch.

Michelle Newman 41:05

Let's not forget, this is the most 70s of the 70s TV shows, and so that had to have played a factor. Yeah, yeah. Even Johnny Ray skating tonight get down. And Johnny is skating fairly fast, but he's all alone, and he's chewing and chewing his gum, and it looks like he either has earplugs in his ears, or perhaps that's what the 1979 hearing aids look like, because, I'm not sure, because we didn't have air pods. So he's either got earplugs in or something, but he's chewing and chewing and he's skating. He's doing that kind of cross thing with his legs. Yeah? They're kind

Speaker 1 41:37

of going, yeah, yeah. He's He's good. He's good on a set of skates. And then

Michelle Newman 41:42

we see a brawless, Cindy Williams, because she's got the little points.

Unknown Speaker 41:47

The points are adorable. And she's chatting

Michelle Newman 41:49

with John, you know, Larry Wilcox, who for this roller skate event, this disco skate event, has chosen to wear a turtleneck sweater and a sports

Kristin Nilsen 41:58

coat, yes, blue, a light blue, baby blue turtleneck sweater. And then you contrast that with punches outfit, which is black spandex pants, of course, with, you know, full wiener on display, and the end like a black mime shirt, like a boat neck ballet shirt, and playing a game of like, who, who's the sexy one, who's the

Michelle Newman 42:19

skater, right? Yeah, who came to skate, right? Yeah, well, Don Johnson's also there, and he's in an open necked red silk shirt, and he's paired it with a silver neck tie. Now, the shirt is very open, probably only the bottom two buttons, but the silver, kind of sparkly necktie is tied like a tie, very formal, up to like his neck, yeah? But he gets shafted on the intro. So there's no intro for Don Johnson. And then we hear that Barbara Lewis is having a good time.

Speaker 1 42:45

Barbara Lewis, no idea, okay, goodness, not just me. And then we

Unknown Speaker 42:49

get Earl

Carolyn Cochrane 42:50

Holliman. That was my favorite.

Kristin Nilsen 42:53

Who is Earl Holloman. He's

Carolyn Cochrane 42:55

up Angie Dickinson's like partner, sidekick on police. He had

Unknown Speaker 43:00

a big role, Earl Holloman was he did

Michelle Newman 43:01

well. He's skating. He's another one who's skating very well, yet alone, some of these actors, I think, were like, hell yes, I'll come and do this, because I love to skate. So while all the other stars were milling about, like around the snack bar area, kind of just waiting like Nancy Culp and Melissa, we understand, like, when are we supposed to go out there? Tell us action. Yeah, no. I mean, we've got Johnny Ray and we've got Earl Holloman, who are like, Oh man, we're going out. We're skating. Do you guys remember who Johnny Ray is? Yeah, we did miss her lyrics. There we go. It's, it's actually from Eileen. He was, he was like, one of the first, like, rock and rollers. He's one of the first people who put rock and roll on the map, and then the announcer goes, what a fantastic night, folks. Come on.

Kristin Nilsen 43:49

You know who my favorite was? Okay, well, first, I'm just so excited that Joanne flub was there, who's Chuck Woolery, his wife, and it's just fun to say Joanne flu and I think my favorite on the rink was Susan from eight is enough and Huggy Mayor

Michelle Newman 44:05

Susan had some moves good.

Unknown Speaker 44:08

They were well matched.

Michelle Newman 44:11

Susan Richardson is her name, yeah. So because now we're gonna switch to a soul train line where the skater celebrities are in two lines facing each other, and skaters roll down the line in between them doing their own moves. And it is the gift that keeps on giving. Truly. If you're having a bad day, just go to YouTube and watch this part. We see Brett summers. These are all the people we're gonna see rolling down the middle or walking, because some of them are in street shoes,

Unknown Speaker 44:40

and that makes me so sad. I know

Michelle Newman 44:43

so happy because they were, like, still, like, grooving, totally six year old woman. I'm so happy that they had the, like, the wherewithal to know, yeah, if I get on skates, I'm breaking my coccyx

Carolyn Cochrane 44:57

Victor, French slash Mr. Ed. Works. I think he was in the bathroom doing a little coke too, because he does not have skates on either. But boy, does he have moves going down that line. He was happy to be

Kristin Nilsen 45:08

there. And who was the woman that I get mixed up with? Joanne Flug, Joanne Worley,

Michelle Newman 45:16

she was on flash. No, she wasn't. And Ruth buzzy is on skates. And, you know, rip because we just lost her. Ruth buzzy is basically like watching Bambi the first time Bambi is walking on ice. You don't have bambi's legs. Her legs are like and then Adam Rich is skating with Connie Needham, who played Elizabeth, who we love. Elizabeth. Listen. We know all of you listening have feelings about Elizabeth and her hair. Go back way to our way back and listen to our two part episode on Eight is Enough. I think it's two part because we will profess all the love you ever want to hear in your life for so many of these eight is enough, kids, but especially Connie Needham and the hair. But Adam Rich, I just an rip to him too, because that was a lot, because he had a few years ago he had, he had a really hard, hard life, and he tried to get better. And so we respect everything he went through, and we sympathize with that. But right now, we're just going to comment on him at the little Adam rich cause Nicholas. I just feel bad for him, because this had to have been his whole life, and probably my own opinion lawyers, that what prompted him to go through all this mental health and insecurities, he just was trying to be the big man like It

Kristin Nilsen 46:30

looks like he waxed his chest, even though he's 12 or 10 or nine, however old he was, I don't know. His shirt is open to his belly button and he's and he's got gold chains on, just like all the big men and but he's holding on to his big sister's hand like they're going for a walk to the park,

Michelle Newman 46:47

but in his mind, yeah, feeling like he was like, hey, yeah, Connie and I are hitting it. Yeah? Again, that's just my own interpretation of this. Now, Earl Holloman, we get one more one more appearance by Earl Hallman, and he almost biffs it like he comes so close to face planting. You guys, I swear to God, we've said it for like, four years. There's never enough viewings of this. No, it's

Carolyn Cochrane 47:15

the gift, like you said, that keeps on giving. Because it wasn't until I recently watched it for this episode that I noticed that Melissa Sue Anderson when she's going down that soul train line, it's Wesley year. Oh, what? Yes, I can't ask him about it. Yes, he's wearing a shirt that says Mississippi. And there's two times that they he's kind of on the screen. One is like, when they're kind of setting up that soul train line, and they're all standing around in kind of a half circle, you know, when you're on skates and you're supposed to understand still, it's kind of hard, so you've kind of got that going on, and he's right next to Melissa in that scene, and they're the first ones to go down the line. Yes,

Michelle Newman 47:58

we love him. Isn't it odd, though we might have talked about this before, but isn't it odd that Melissa Sue Anderson, who was kind of famously known for maybe, well, maybe that's in the later years, of not doing press and not doing stuff, she's there, but Melissa Gilbert, who was right in one of our conversations with her, we talk about her favorite thing to do was go to the roller disc on the rollcater. Yes, that she wasn't there. I, you know, I find that odd. We should get Melissa and Wesley on at the same time, just to talk about this. Also, listeners, listen, we've got you open your Weekly Reader on Friday because there will be just a direct link. You don't even have to worry about searching YouTube today or whenever. Just go to our Weekly Reader this Friday and click the link and it'll all, all the glory will be right there.

Kristin Nilsen 48:46

Okay, so don't forget, this is we have the the roller beauty pageant, right? But the only thing you need to know about the roller beauty pageant is that there's a winner, and when the winner is crowned, they get a big kiss from Earl Holloman on the lips. Yes, exactly.

Carolyn Cochrane 49:04

And I want to also point out that the winner was chosen by the beauty pageant judges, and those judges included buzzy who was sitting right next to Melissa Sue Anderson, yes, and then Lee Meriwether was there like the motherly figure, she's going to help out and Todd bridges, they're all going to chime in and decide our winner.

Michelle Newman 49:22

They did way more in the rehearsal. Maybe all that got cut for time because they're all writing on their clipboards and nodding

Speaker 1 49:29

like, oh, oh. They're very serious. Their bases are very serious. Literally,

Michelle Newman 49:33

they saw each contestant for a split second. That's right, like, you win. And actually, I didn't agree with the winner.

Unknown Speaker 49:38

I didn't even recognize her.

Michelle Newman 49:41

She wasn't the best one show, best one. Oh. Okay, so when we close out this whole thing, this is when we feel like Jimmy Tyler life Garrett is like, all right, you guys listen, I'm a changed person. I've hired back major Healey. What you guys think of his performance?

Carolyn Cochrane 49:59

You know, I hate to say it, but I kind of liked it in the song. Was that a late song, or was that

Unknown Speaker 50:05

never heard that song?

Michelle Newman 50:06

I liked the law. I loved it. Yes, I

Carolyn Cochrane 50:09

was, I gotta say, a little bit impressed.

Kristin Nilsen 50:22

So is what I live for. This moment right here is what I am alive for. I don't care that I don't like leaf Garrett, I am all in and, oh, my god, the penis, all this, all the spandex. I'm sorry, my eyes just go right there to the crotch, and the seam in front is a little cock eyed, like, oh,

Michelle Newman 50:50

listeners, she said the seam

Kristin Nilsen 50:55

was cock eyed. Oh, that's a good and so it's just, it's hard to hide the lumps in it, so it's just a little bit weird. Maybe it's where the light reflects off the pants. But I do. I love the song. I do like the way he moves. And for the first time in my whole life, I understand. I mean, I still don't like it, but I mean, I'm still gonna marry Sean Cassidy and Andy Gibb but I get you leaf Garrett fans, I see you, yeah, I see you. I was like, Huh? Yeah, I like what I'm seeing here. Yeah,

Michelle Newman 51:26

he doesn't look like he smells like dirty mop water, right? He He's could be appealing. I could see that. Yeah, it's kind of California surfer vibe.

Carolyn Cochrane 51:35

And I just got a follow up on what Kristen just said, what she said, I like what I'm seeing here. Well, we know what you're looking at. It's very that's the first thing you came out with. It's like, his cute eyes are, you know, I'm busy like seeing if he's lip syncing and looking at that, and you're looking somewhere else. But just to be

Kristin Nilsen 51:56

clear now, I'm saying this to the men now, because I think men are under the impression that we like the look of penises. No, no, that is not what we so when my eyes go there, it's more out of morbid curiosity, but I was able to avert my eyes and watch his cute little face as he's saying this really Boppy song. And I think this is his strength. You don't need to do family and chips anymore. Leif Garrett, just sing your songs because you're pretty good at it. Yeah, he sold that song. He sold that

Carolyn Cochrane 52:26

song? Yeah, he did. And I thought it was so funny. And so there's a DJ booth at this roller rink, and it's plastered with all of Jimmy Tyler's like, albums and stuff behind him, but it's obviously Leif Garrett's albums, and they just have, like, duct tape and stuff across the names, Jamie Tyler, that's right, it doesn't have any names, just like, you know, where it said Leif Garrett. It's just a piece of black

Michelle Newman 52:50

tape, Helvetica font,

Kristin Nilsen 52:54

Jimmy Tyler. Did you guys happen to see it was right after Jimmy Tyler performed, and I learned that I kind of like, leave Garrett, did you catch the guy in the paper bag?

Carolyn Cochrane 53:03

Well, I didn't, but I read some Reddit comments.

Kristin Nilsen 53:07

Did you because I was confused, and I was confused, so just very quickly, it's a fast, fast glimpse of a guy with a paper bag over his head, with eyes and a mouth cut out. And you're like, oh,

Michelle Newman 53:18

it's the comic show the unknown

Kristin Nilsen 53:22

comic. He's famous from The Gong Show, yeah, yeah. So we just got him on screen for like a half a second. And, man, if that is not going deep on 70s culture, I don't know what is.

Carolyn Cochrane 53:32

You know else was on for a split second too. Was Allison arngrim. She was in like, a crowd scene. Yeah, I missed

Michelle Newman 53:38

her. So either her featured on skates. She wasn't

Carolyn Cochrane 53:42

ever on the skates, or she was terrible. My idea or thought is that they just had everybody you know come out roller skate, do their thing. They filmed it all, and then they retrofitted the guy you know narrating, and people that maybe sucked or maybe fell down, or who knows what happened, and they were edited out, yeah, well, I did a little deep dive on our venue, which was flippers. Roller Boogie Palace, okay, oh. Roller Boogie palace. Roller Boogie palace. This was a mainstay in LA for a very short time, basically when roller disco was a thing. It was as Jacqueline Smith liked to call it studio 54 on wheels. This is the venue where angels on skates, the Charlie's Angels episode was filmed. Yes, so a lot of our celebrities of the day hung out there at night and drank and skated and did all the things. Sure, I bet you, and I bet you, maybe Earl Holloman hung out there, because that's why he could kind of had some moves, yeah, on the skating rink.

Unknown Speaker 54:47

Hey, Johnny Ray Joanne,

Carolyn Cochrane 54:50

interestingly enough, the daughter of the one of the gentlemen who created flippers roller Boogie palace has tried to kind of reboot it. Little bit, not the actual venue location, because that's a CVS now, but she has kind of done it where it's like taking the show on the road. So do you remember when Rockefeller Center one summer, kind of redid the skating rink that was kind of her creation, and she and so it was like, kind of flippers, roller Boogie Palace on the road, and so she's done it in Vegas. I don't know if she's done it anywhere recently, but just trying to create and recreate that vibe when we were kind of all together, doing our thing, getting exercise. I love it all right. Well, maybe besides re watching this iconic episode, nothing was as funny as some of the Reddit comments I came across while doing a little research. You guys, there were so many different Reddit threads about this episode. So it lives within us and within Gen X. It is a thing, and some people had some really funny commentary on it. So I want to share a little bit of that with you. Somebody said, this is peak 1979 I'd want to skate and dance with Lee Merriweather or Tina Louise. Oh yeah, we forgot to say. But would probably just end up eating fries and chatting at a table with Brett summers, Dick Van Patten and Victor fresh. When he said, Well, if you can't impress the hot ladies, you might as well relax and have a few laughs. That was really funny. Who wouldn't want to watch Dan Haggerty roller skate? And then someone responds, lots of celebs are just quick shots of them standing around the roller rink talking to other beat list celebs, which is exactly what Grizzly Adams is shown doing, and then someone else responds, thanks. I ended up watching the clip, and sadly, you are right. Joanne Worley isn't even wearing skates. The whole thing is a lie, and I am having a hard time getting over it. Nothing is real. How have you done this to me? Somebody else said, after roots, the greatest event in the 1970s

Michelle Newman 57:07

that's a bold statement.

Carolyn Cochrane 57:10

And then lastly, someone said, What? No Gabe Kaplan. And then somebody replied, good point. He must have been busy training to run barefoot on the cinder track at the Battle of the network stars,

Unknown Speaker 57:21

for sure, absolutely,

Michelle Newman 57:23

there is a lot of 1979 stars that weren't there. I mean, Scott Baio, come on, how was Scott Baio not there? How was Christie McNichol not there? Right? You

Carolyn Cochrane 57:32

know, maybe battle of the network stars was having some training or filming, because Heather low here. A lot of the names that we have said on this episode, we're not featured on Battle of the network stars, but yeah, tug of war, yeah, maybe that's why he didn't have skates on. Maybe he had run over from practice and Pepperdine and just kind of flew,

Unknown Speaker 57:57

flew into tug of war

Michelle Newman 57:59

in 1979 the Scott baios Well, but Leif Garrett was on. So that's why I'm like, why wasn't Scott mayo? Why weren't Scott mayo and Christy McNichol on? But maybe they blew the budget on life Garrett. And think about it, in 79 Scott Baio and Christie McNichol would probably have been asking way more than Nancy Kolb,

Unknown Speaker 58:14

Yes, true.

Carolyn Cochrane 58:17

Johnny Ray, who's literally from like 1950 something, again, I think this is one of those times where these casting people decide we've got to reach the old part of our demographic. So the parents of some of the late kids, they are going to tune in for Johnny Ray and, you know, maybe for Earl Holloman, and then we're going to get the people that want to see Adam rich. Yeah.

Kristin Nilsen 58:46

You guys, this feels like a goodbye yellow brick road moment. I'm so sad to bring this conversation to a close, because this is as close to our why as you can get, right. I don't want to leave this place with roller skating and disco and John and Ponch and Leif Garrett. I want to live in this place every day. This is my home. It's that. It's kind of like that very special joy that is both funny but also sincere. You know that? You know that phenomenon where you're crying and then slowly the crying turns into laughter. That's what this is. You're both horrified and overjoyed by what you just experienced,

Michelle Newman 59:26

right? Yeah, because it's not hate watching. It is, let's, let's be clear, even though we've been poking fun at a lot of these scenes and the acting and stuff, this was 100% love watching

Carolyn Cochrane 59:38

enjoyable. Yeah, the nth degree.

Kristin Nilsen 59:40

Yes, you can't you can't believe that something so ridiculous ever happened, and you also want to go back and do it again. Yes, that's how good it is. How lucky were we to live in a time that was this flamboyant and free? Thank you so much for listening, and we will see you next time.

Michelle Newman 59:55

And we'd love to thank some of our supporters on Patreon who we. Could not do any of this, the podcast, the social media, anything we do without our patrons on Patreon today, we're giving a special shout out. Thank you to carmy, Alexis, Sharon, Allie, Megan, Julie, Nancy Jean, Stacey and Steven and Panch and John and Nancy Kulp and Cindy Williams and Sarah Hallman and Joanne Oakes

Carolyn Cochrane 1:00:25

and major Healey. And if you enjoyed today's episode half as much as we enjoyed doing it, we would love for you to share all about us, the podcast, our social media, with your friends. We'd love it if you would go on to the podcast platform where you listen like us, review us, really, the more people that get to experience roller disco and John and paunch I mean, come on, people and us our commentary. I mean, I think we're going to submit this for our potty awards. So yeah, hurry up and do that, you guys. It really helps us

Kristin Nilsen 1:00:58

out. In the meantime, let's raise our glasses for a toast courtesy of the cast of Threes Company, two good times,

Carolyn Cochrane 1:01:04

two Happy Days, Two Little House on the Prairie. Cheers the

Kristin Nilsen 1:01:09

information, opinions and comments expressed on the pop culture Preservation Society podcast belongs solely to Carolyn the crushologist and hello Newman. And are in no way representative of our employers or affiliates. And though we truly believe we are always right, there is always a first time the PCPs is written, produced and recorded in Minneapolis, Minnesota, home of the fictional wjm studios and our beloved Mary Richards. Nano. Nano, keep on trucking and May the Force Be With You. You.