Benign Neglect: Gen X Parenting Stories

Kristin Nilsen 0:00

She doesn't know where the baby is. How do you not know where your baby is? And this is how seriously she took it. She said, "If you lit a match anywhere near that baby, she'd explode.

Carolyn Cochrane 0:30

Welcome to the Pop Culture Preservation Society, the podcast for people born in the Big Wheel generation who know exactly what is on a Big Mac and can still sing it for you. We

Kristin Nilsen 0:41

believe our Gen X childhoods gave us unforgettable songs, stories, characters, and images. And if we don't talk about them, they'll disappear like Marshall, Will, and Holly on a routine expedition.

Michelle Newman 0:51

And today, we're saving the free-range, often lackluster parenting we experienced in our Gen X childhoods by sharing some wild and hilarious stories sent in by many of our listeners, who we are so glad made it out alive. I'm Carolyn. I'm Kristen, and I'm Michelle, and we are your pop culture preservationists.

Speaker 1 1:14

It's 10 p.m. Do you know where your children are?

Michelle Newman 1:18

Imagine this: you're seven years old, sitting on the center console of a moving station wagon with zero seat belts in sight, a $5 bill your mom gave you to run into the gas station and buy her a pack of Virginia Slims, all before heading down to the local railroad tracks to play a high stakes game of chicken with a freight train. Welcome to the golden age of benign neglect: the 1970s parenting philosophy that basically treated children like outdoor cats, expected to survive the day on instinct, garden hose water, and pure luck. For whatever reason, and there are many, most of us lived in a lawless wilderness in the 70s and 80s, maybe both parents worked. Maybe they were raised with an iron fist and vowed to parent their own kids differently. Maybe they were drunk. We don't know. And for the purpose of today's episode, we don't care. Today we're diving deep into our Lord of the Flies, fueled by Kool Aid era, and sharing the wildest, most unbelievable survival stories sent in by many of our listeners that have made me feel so much better about

Kristin Nilsen 2:30

my own mother's parenting choices. It's not us. It's not us. And I have I have to read this to you because I think this says it perfectly. This encapsulates everything. It's something I saw on Instagram. Maybe you've only seen it. Maybe you have all seen it too. It comes from over 40 vibes, is the account. And here's what they say: Dear Gen X, I've been watching '80s movies, and I just need to know where were your parents? Every child was just wandering the earth unsupervised, like a raccoon with house keys, riding bikes across town at midnight, fighting ghosts, investigating murders, befriending cryptids, hacking government computers for funsies, and the parents were always out of town or working late. While the only adult adjacent supervision was some random 16-year-old who got dragged into the chaos. No cell phones, no helmets, no adult supervision, just vibes, life lessons, and several near-death experiences. You all weren't raised. You were lightly monitored, feral creatures with a bike and unresolved trauma. I'm genuinely shocked there are enough of you left to populate an entire generation.

Michelle Newman 3:38

That's so true because, for the most part, and you know, depending on the danger or level of the situation, we all we all made it out.

Kristin Nilsen 3:50

Here we are. Well, you

Carolyn Cochrane 3:53

said in your intro, Michelle, something about luck, and I think luck. When I read some of these stories, had a little bit or a lot of bit to do with the survival of some of these things, but we're luckily, luckily on the lucky end, so we're here to talk about them.

Michelle Newman 4:08

And like I said, reading you guys, reading your stories, listeners, made me did make me feel better about some of my mother's parenting choices. Now, some of the ones that it didn't make me feel better about our ones. I cannot share on this podcast episode because, like we've said, no trauma. This is not therapy. These are just the little things. But the the list that I have that I made of the things that were were would kind of go in the file of benign neglect, I thought were were pretty bad. You know, as a parent myself, I'd be like, "Can I used to be able to do this? Can you imagine letting our kids do that? Oh, you guys had a lot, a lot of a lot worse. And don't worry, we have chosen some of the most wildest, unbelievable ones to share with you today. But I want. Share with you a few things from my own childhood that that I yeah I used to think were pretty bad, but I just kind of made a list because a lot of these now I realize are very commonplace, right? Yeah, after reading

Kristin Nilsen 5:14

people's, it was so good to read all these because it just like you said, Michelle, it made me realize that this was universal. This was universal.

Michelle Newman 5:22

Well, and the first one, like for instance, playing in the houses under construction all the time. Like you know, I lived in 12 different you know places growing up, and it seems like we always had houses under construction adjacent to my neighborhood, almost. And my sister and I would just be feral in there. We would just go right. I mean, that was our favorite thing to do. You could, especially the ones where you could kind of tell, like this is the kitchen. Okay, I pick this bedroom upstairs. I pick

Kristin Nilsen 5:49

up the stairs. You would go upstairs, and there might not be a floor up there

Michelle Newman 5:53

or a railing. No, we hit a railing, and you can fall right through the stairs. There were just like you know, little to this day. If I'm in like the Home Depot or like the section of the raw lumber, that smell takes me. It whooshker do's me right back there. Yep. And who knows? We were probably wearing those little those little thin rubber flip flops. You know, thongs from you know yeah Ben Franklin nails that are just out there. Yeah. And I've said this many times, but this is another one. Writing in the back of my dad's pickup truck, open air, while he's flying down the highway at probably you know 60 miles an hour, and sometimes my sister and I daring each other to stand up.

Carolyn Cochrane 6:31

Oh my! Like

Michelle Newman 6:33

not like stand up, like hold on, you know, like like to feel the wind in our hair. Yeah, and he was probably looking in the rearview mirror, just laughing at us, or like tapping the window, sit down, sit down. Like that

Kristin Nilsen 6:43

was the safety telling you to sit down. Like that's the he's being just looking out for you. Yeah, but it was

Michelle Newman 6:49

really if you set up on the wheel well, you could also feel that wind in your hair. So that to us was safe. That was the prime spot on the wheel well. Sit on the

Kristin Nilsen 6:56

wheel well was that you fought for that spot.

Michelle Newman 6:58

Yeah, for sure. And then when I was my mom for several years, we had a Jeep, and the Jeep, if you guys are, has a the soft top, and it was just a two door, but the whole soft top, you know, the doors are kind of almost like vinyl, but the and I'm using air quotes here, listeners, the trunk was just kind of this space behind the back seat that kind of had the back of the Jeep had a hatchback, so I'm going to guess it was about three feet long and two feet wide. I would squish myself back there and take toys to play with anytime I would be in the Jeep. That was so fun. If we didn't have anything in that compartment, you guys, I would have been dead instantly had we been. So you're talking

Kristin Nilsen 7:36

about riding back there and playing while you're driving.

Michelle Newman 7:40

Oh yeah, yes, absolutely, absolutely. And then you guys remember if you had just like a sedan back in the 70s or the 80s, picture the back seats, and then the back windshield kind of slopes down. But then there's almost like a ledge, like a ledge behind the, and it kind of

Speaker 2 7:59

goes.

Michelle Newman 7:59

Yes, but or Michelle, I would lay down flat and squish. So like my face would be like up against the back windshield. I thought that was super fun. Also, from about age seven on, not on, but while we lived in Texas for sure, because that was the that was the rationale given. My mom would have me hold her drink while we drove, so it would be open, you know. There, we didn't really. Did we have cups with like lids and stuff? Oh no, no, no, no, no. But you know, she'd take a roadie because you know, and she would be. Was Texas? Everyone takes open.

Carolyn Cochrane 8:30

There were no open container rolls then back. Well, it wasn't against her. No. Oh, I not for a long time in Texas. So I would say there was.

Michelle Newman 8:39

Well, in the 70s in Texas, my mom. Because even as like a seven year old, and I know this because my therapist has asked

Speaker 3 8:46

me,

Michelle Newman 8:47

"Did you have a feeling inside like, oh, I'm I feel kind of, you know, twisty inside because I don't think this is right? I was like, "Yes, yes, I didn't think this was right, and but I didn't say anything, you know, I didn't. But my mom, but then sometimes I'd just put it up because there was always like a fresh lime in it. It was like you know, like a vodka tonic or gin and tonic, and I'd be like, "Oh, it's so sparkly and fun! And so I would just like touch it to my lips as I was holding it. My mom knew it was totally fine, of course, totally fine. You'll be. I mean, my goodness, Daddy Paul, my my grandpa. I mean, he was known for giving all the grandkids sips from his Budweiser can, you know, in Grand Prairie, Texas. I mean, there's pictures of that, and that's so funny, you know, Daddy Paul with the grandkid on his lap, and the grandkids holding the Budweiser can. That's that's just a lot of our

Carolyn Cochrane 9:33

listeners who can find pictures of exactly that, or actually taking the the sip in the moment because the parents actually recorded. I mean, they like recorded it for posterity.

Michelle Newman 9:43

Yes, we we did get a lot of comments about sipping drinks and mixing drinks and stuff. But um, and I know I've mentioned this when Kristen has talked about being left um and to wait in the casino in Reno countless times when we would go with my stepfather to the furniture markets in Las Vegas. My mom and stepfather would want to go gamble, so we would either be left in the hotel room, but mostly because I would want to go see Circus Circus, or I loved the excitement of the casinos, and I loved playing the slot machines. I loved the slots. I loved playing the slots when I was about six. But as soon as I'd be playing the slots, every time here would come the security guard, and I would be. I would have like the fear of Jesus in me. The way my mom got around that is we set. She set us on the steps of the casino, and then we lost it. We didn't know where they were though, but it was sit here and don't move. Yeah, I'm going to show you guys my diary from 1978, and it's the it's the dear diary, the Hello Kitty that I'm sure many of you have, and this is from the June and July of 1978. Although I was a terrible speller, I can't believe it. July 2nd, dear diary, today after church we went for a drive. We went to the all caps Helvation Tavern. Now I don't explain anything because that's a very good memory. I just remember the Helvation Tavern. It was like a like a hamburger joint, but like in rural Oregon. We lived in a little rural town near Portland called Forest Grove. Is this not

Carolyn Cochrane 11:15

like a play on words for salvation? Except it's maybe in my memory, it's like in my memory,

Michelle Newman 11:23

it would have it was like would have motorcycles all lined up outside of it, right? Okay. Mommy asked if we could come in. The answer was no. So me and Mel ate in the car. So here's my question: It's a bar. It's a bar. Yeah. So I said to my husband, "You know, back when our girls were little, if we had gone to a restaurant and been like, 'Ah, I don't know if they'll let the girls come in to eat, will you run in and ask, and and we go in and ask, and they say no? Would we have said, 'But girls, we're just going to bring you some food out here in the car. July, it's hot, and this is after church. This is not at night. So no, we were left in the car. They brought us food, ate in the car because they were going to go in and have their burgers and drinks. And and and they're

Kristin Nilsen 12:11

going to the bar after church too. I think that's funny. Like, what do you do after church? You go to the bar.

Michelle Newman 12:16

Absolutely, you do. Anyway, it's really fun because I have the entire month of July, and that would have been the next to last summer I got to spend July with my dad. And you guys, you give me crap all the time about like the tar bubbles popping and Woodson, Texas. I bet 10 entries I wrote every day. I was shelling black-eyed peas, or I was I was snapping beans. It truly was like I was living on the prairie. Yeah, it just cracks me up that we were left in the hot car to eat our hamburgers. Well, and

Kristin Nilsen 12:48

that's a that's a really that's a really interesting question. Like, what would we have done if they said your children can't come in? And that's going to come up over and over and over again in this. Is that just a

Michelle Newman 12:58

restaurant?

Kristin Nilsen 12:58

Yes, you leave. Yes, I guess you can't play slots that day, right?

Michelle Newman 13:03

Okay, this would totally track too from my mom and stepfather, and my uncle Marvin was with us. He was my great uncle, but he was kind of like my grandpa until he passed away when I was in my 20s. But always there for every you know graduation, all that stuff. But uncle Marvin was super close with my mom, and we loved Uncle Marvin, but big drinker, big big drinker. Like put Jack Daniels in his coffee every morning. So when I say big big drinker, I mean like alcoholic drinker. Not a mean one though. Super nice guy. Plus, but yeah, I know. Always same with my same with my mom. But I'm guessing that it was probably something like, well, you know, the Helvation Tavern's the only place we can get a drink after church. Oh my gosh! So we're going to go to the Halvation Tavern. The girls can't go in, and we're probably like, "Could we just go to McDonald's and get a burger? Helvation, no, is what they would say. Right,

Kristin Nilsen 13:52

that's right. I mean, I remember being at Target and sitting in the car, and my mom saying she was just going to run in, and feeling like I my body was going to explode. I was going to split at the seams because it had been so long, and we're looking at our little Timex watches. It's been an hour. I probably have my my sister's probably in an infant seat on the floor, and I'm just like, why is she coming back? And then my brother and I would be like, should we go in? Do you want to go in? Are you going to go find her? And we were just-it was like jumping out of my skin. It was horrible. Well,

Michelle Newman 14:25

but don't you guys agree that before I read all of our listeners' stories, I thought these things were kind of awful. They pale in comparison, you guys, to what we're about to read to you. Like I said, don't think that that makes everything great. We still had

Carolyn Cochrane 14:41

some. We still had some big mess ups. Big mess ups that I can't get into here. But yeah, right. Well, I don't have actual memories of this thing that I want to share with you guys, but I do remember when I was told about it. So I was probably nine or 10, and I remember being in disbelief when my mom. Told me how when I was a baby in New York City, okay, and now New York City in the 70s was it was rough and murders and all that. So when I heard this story, I thought I can't believe you did this, mother. She and a friend who also had a baby around my age, they would walk us in those big you know carriages. My mom and her friend would walk us, myself, and the other baby in our little prams to the local coffee shop in the winter. They'd bundle us up, walk us down there, and then they would park our little prams right in front of a window, and they would leave us in the prams. And they would go into the coffee shop, and they would get their coffee, and they didn't come back out to get us in our prams, they sat at the counter in the coffee shop at the window. My mom's like, "I could see you. You were right out there. You were on wheels, though. I was on wheels. Yeah, just come running. Yes, unless your mom would do like knock on the window, go, 'Don't, don't take her. That's my taker. And of course, when she's telling me this again, I'm envisioning New York City as I, you know, know it present day. Then thinking there are murders, there is crime, there are drugs, and you're just leaving me out there all by myself, and I'm a baby. I just thought that was in incomprehensible. I just I don't even think I think I didn't talk to her for a little while. I was so upset with the story,

Michelle Newman 16:20

and I don't think anybody like I'm picturing the mid '70s New York City. I'm gonna guess that your mom and her friend weren't wearing like sneakers where they could chase somebody. They probably had on cute little, you know, espadrilles or little he like small heel something. So if someone came along and just started pushing those prams running, I don't. Yeah, they couldn't have chased him down. I mean, I wouldn't have Sam could be around the corner. Oh, Jesus! Exactly, exactly. So you can

Carolyn Cochrane 16:48

only imagine how I felt in that moment. While I didn't obviously remember it from real time, I remember my mom sharing the story, and I'm sure my mouth was just like hung open. I would say, "Wait, like how long was I out there? And it was such like a offhanded story she told me. It wasn't like, yeah, sit down. I'm going to tell you the story about when I left you outside and I was in the warm coffee shop. It was more like, oh, that reminds me of when blah blah.

Michelle Newman 17:14

Yes, yeah. They don't think. Wait, they don't. Yeah,

Carolyn Cochrane 17:16

in a second. Right. We wouldn't mind anything

Michelle Newman 17:18

of it. If my mom was alive now and she heard me saying all these things. She would just be either laughing, like, "Oh, please, Michelle, that's you know, that's what we do, or she'd be really mad that I'm taking this, like that I'm a little bit like judgmental about this, yes, because so many times for my own kids say they're teething or whatever, and should be like, "Oh, you know what? Freeze a tiny bit, like freeze an ice cube of bourbon, and then chisel some off and let them suck on it, and that'll help. And I was like,

Speaker 3 17:46

no,

Michelle Newman 17:47

oh Michelle, oh Michelle, yeah, we did that all the time. You sucked on bourbon ice cubes all the time, and you're fine. And I'm like, am I?

Kristin Nilsen 17:56

Ask my therapist, mom.

Speaker 2 17:58

Am I though? Oh,

Carolyn Cochrane 17:59

and then this one that sticks with me so clearly is when I was six or seven. I had gone to bed a weekend night, probably Friday or Saturday, and must have had a bad dream or something. Woken up and went to go into my parents' bedroom to wake up my mom and you know have her console me or make me feel better. And I went into my parents' room, and there was no one there, and there was nobody in the bed. Oh my god! And I was like, "Oh, must not be that late or whatever. Go out into the living room, family room of our house. Nobody's there. Mom, Dad, no answer. Mom, Dad, you know, no answer. I like probably slide open, slide open the sliding glass doors, look outside in the backyard. No, my parents are nowhere in the house, and in my mind, it's the middle of the night. In reality, it was maybe like 11 or something. But needless to say, my sister and I were asleep, and my parents weren't there. And I think besides my phone number, I had one other phone number memorized, and it was our next door neighbor's. And I remember dialing the phone. I can remember it like it was yesterday because I can remember the the wall that the phone was on. And when I was telling my sister the story, I said, "And remember, all of our phones were rotary because rich people have push button phones. Like in my mind, only rich people. So I'm dialing our next door neighbor's number, and they answer, and I'm probably kind of hysterical, like oh my god, so they're here, and they said, oh well, they're right here. Hold on, I'll put your mom on.

Michelle Newman 19:27

My God,

Carolyn Cochrane 19:28

I know, and so of course they come back, and I am probably at this point inconsolable, just like why would you do that? My mom is apologizing up and down. I'm sure they never did that again, but my dad, I'm sure, convinced her. What are the odds? How often do the kids wake up between you know nine and midnight? They're

Kristin Nilsen 19:46

sleeping. What could go wrong?

Carolyn Cochrane 19:48

Right, exactly. A lot could go wrong, and it scarred me. And that's the thing that could

Michelle Newman 19:53

go wrong. They wake up and they're afraid. Right. Well, and it's like then you get so. Were you old enough to? Be angry about it because, like, or were you just relieved they were okay?

Carolyn Cochrane 20:05

I think it was when they got home. I think there was the relief, but sometimes that relief is also anger. Like you're just like, why would you do that? Why would you, you know, that kind of a thing? And so, yeah, I I'm sure there was anger in it, and I think my mom was, if I remember, she was kind of angry at my dad. Like I get the feeling that my dad kind of convinced her. Yeah. So I'm kind of watching that play out as well. But I just remember that kind of crying where you can't catch your breath that I was doing. I remember our couch and because can you like be that age? And I'm sure there were scary stories that I told myself. You know, UFO witch, something like that. A

Kristin Nilsen 20:43

kidnapper. It's a kidnapper for sure. Yes, or the Wicked Witch of the West. Those are the two things I was afraid of. You just always think your

Carolyn Cochrane 20:49

parents are always there. You know, when you go to bed, like they're there, and they weren't. And obviously, I still remember it. And I would never, ever, ever do that to my children. Even to this day, I'd let them know if they were sleeping. I'd be like, "I'm going out. I might not be here. Can you imagine 30 years?

Michelle Newman 21:08

Sweet dreams. Yeah, mom and dad are going to step out for a few hours,

Kristin Nilsen 21:12

and it's not like you know we had baby monitors, and you might go next door to the neighbor's house with your baby monitor, and the minute you heard that baby go, you you left, you left like the baby didn't even wake up and you left, but there were no babies. No,

Carolyn Cochrane 21:27

you know what else I remember is the the trying to analyze in my head what should I do? Do I like go outside and go to the next door neighbors and ring the doorbell? But again, it was scary. I guess maybe I looked at the clock, but I I know my sister is there. Do I actually you know call on the phone because I think at that point you know you weren't really allowed to use the phone unless you know mom and dad said you could. It was probably when you just memorized numbers, and anyway, it was just all of that like trying to figure out what's the next right step to figure out what's going on here? Do I dial zero for the operator?

Michelle Newman 22:03

Right, because also, also when you're that age, you're old enough to realize that as soon as I do something like that, that I know I'm kind of not supposed to do, this becomes real.

Speaker 2 22:12

Yeah, like as soon as

Michelle Newman 22:14

I make that phone call or walk outside, then this is real. But if I do nothing, maybe they'll be downstairs, or maybe they'll really just come walking in, and they were in the backyard. Yeah, I'm so sorry that happened to you. And this

Kristin Nilsen 22:26

explains, like, when you see all of the Instagram posts about like Gen X is so resourceful and they can take care of anything, and they're so resilient. It's because you woke up in the middle of the night and your parents weren't there, and you had to go through all those steps that you just mentioned. How do I solve this problem. Do I dial the operator? Do I call the next door neighbor, which is the only phone number that I know? Called, and I my sister is here. Like you were taking care of yourself and your baby sister.

Michelle Newman 22:51

Oh yeah,

Kristin Nilsen 22:52

at the age of like preschool years old. Yeah,

Carolyn Cochrane 22:55

insane, insane.

Kristin Nilsen 22:57

It's insane. Yeah. Um, my friend Colleen, she she told me this just today, and it is in the category of like where's where is the mom where where are you mom? So when she was 18 months old, I'm just gonna say that again. She's 18 months old, and she's in the basement, which is a basement basement. It's not like the finished basement or thing. It's the basement basement, and she drank fuel oil because she was in the basement alone at 18 months old, except for her her three year old brother who was like, "This is a great idea. You should drink this, and and there was no alarm. Like, would you ever? Which do you ever have any memory of your 18 month old not being by your side? No, and also they're by your side.

Michelle Newman 23:44

I'm just amazed that she made it down the basement stairs too. Did she like bump down on her little

Kristin Nilsen 23:49

bottom and her little diapered bottom? Yes, and then even the three year old boy,

Michelle Newman 23:53

he's probably going step, step, step, step, and holding like sideways onto the rail. Come on, Colleen, and she's bumping down on her diaper butt.

Kristin Nilsen 24:01

Yes,

Michelle Newman 24:02

that takes a long time.

Kristin Nilsen 24:03

Where was like? How did they get out there without mom knowing? She lost her two children in her own home, and this is that that this is that thing where okay, number one, she doesn't know where her children are, including the baby. She doesn't know where the baby is. How do you not know where your baby is? And this is how seriously she took it. She said, "If you lit a match anywhere near that baby, she'd explode. That's hilariously. Did she have to get her stomach pumped? She did. Yep, they went to the emergency room, and that's what she told the emergency room people. If you lit a match near that baby, she'd explode. She's a fire breather. Nowadays, if you if your baby drank fuel oil, wouldn't that like trigger a phone call? Oh, you'd be a rest day. You'd be a CPS. CPS would be

Speaker 3 24:52

right.

Speaker 2 24:53

Yeah,

Michelle Newman 24:53

you would 100% have your child, your mothering privileges revoked because you didn't have that locked up, or you. And you weren't supervising your baby.

Kristin Nilsen 25:01

Where's your baby? Where's your baby? And I

Carolyn Cochrane 25:03

wonder where that where that changed. Like, what was the thing that all of a sudden made it? I mean, maybe some child came in and died, but you know, it's just like obviously it wasn't that unheard of that they said, "Okay, thanks for letting us know, and that our parents did this without thinking there was, you know, something amiss. Like, why do you call an ambulance? Like, I would have been on 911. I was in control. Yes, or something. And so, yeah, I wonder when that little shift happened because

Kristin Nilsen 25:33

she clearly wasn't shamed, right? When she because she's telling the story 50 years later, she's still talking about it. If she had been shamed in the emergency room. She would not be sharing this story. No, it'd be a scary story.

Michelle Newman 25:45

I just love that she says, "If you light light her up, you know, she'd catch on fire. And I'm sure the doctors-they just laughed and laughed. The

Kristin Nilsen 25:52

doctor's probably smoking. Just drank a little fuel oil. Okay, when we first moved to Minnesota. I, I, there are so many. My parents are good people, right? They were good. All of our parents were good parents, and they're everything. All these stories that we're telling are such good-natured things that our parents shared with us. They don't think anything of it. Just like if you lit a mansion, you're that baby. So this is my parents' classic 1970s when we first moved to to Minnesota. My parents were we were like tourists, right? So we were doing all the fun things in town. And shortly after we arrived, they took us all to the Grain Belt Brewery for a brewery tour. Oh, but guess what? Children aren't allowed, right? You know this story. We just heard it from Michelle. Children aren't allowed. And so my parents turn to us and they say, "Okay, you have to stay outside. We're gonna we'll be right back. We're gonna have a tour of this ginormous brewery. I was seven and Eric was four, and this was in the middle of the city. It's on a busy street with like busses and taxis, you know, honking traffic and it's like it's like Michigan Avenue or Hollywood Boulevard or something like that. And I was in charge of my brother, who is four, like the the seven and the four year old alone on Hollywood Boulevard. Pretty much is what it is. And here's the thing: my parents were not the only ones who did not know that children weren't allowed in the brewery, because the front yard of the brewery looked like an orphanage. There were it was full of children, but not one adult in sight, no adults in sight, and we were there long enough that we made friends, and we formed little gangs, and we were out there long enough to make up games. This is where I learned to play shoe can because there were beer cans littering the yard, right? Sure. Grain belt, there were grain belt cans everywhere, and you'd smash your foot down on the can so that it would it would clamp onto your shoe, and then we'd walk around like tap shoes. Yeah, this is where I learned to play shoe can. Man, if only

Michelle Newman 27:49

Melanie and I would have gotten out of the car at the Helvation Tavern. There were probably cans.

Kristin Nilsen 27:53

Exactly. Damn it! No adults anywhere. I think it was two hours that came to me today. I was like, oh, easily two hours a

Speaker 4 27:59

chore.

Kristin Nilsen 28:00

Yeah,

Michelle Newman 28:00

easily. So you got

Kristin Nilsen 28:02

to leave your four year old outside on a city street for two hours alone, alone, and all of us were out there. My God,

Carolyn Cochrane 28:11

yeah, I'm sure they say that at the brewery. They're probably like, oh yeah, you can just leave. Look at all the other kids out there. Yeah, it's like yeah, they didn't think twice. It was like

Kristin Nilsen 28:17

an orphanage at recess. It was hilarious. Okay, so when I was in seventh grade, I took dance classes with a friend who shall remain nameless, and my mom and my friend's mom we took turns carpooling us to the dance studio at at the mall, going to the mall, theoretically carpooling because my friend's mom had a showing up problem, and sometimes she just didn't, and then my mom would like grab her purse and shove me in the car, and we'd race to the mall without my friend, who was sometimes there. Like they just forgot to come get me. But when she did remember, and sometimes she didn't show up at all, but when she did remember to come get me, it wasn't much better because we were late 90% of the time, and we're always my mom and I are always looking out the window, like, is she coming? Should we get in the car? Is she coming? Hate that. And then she would like, like screech into the driveway, and I would run, get out in the car. We ran out of gas twice, twice with my friend's mom, and I'm 12 years old, and I'm like, twice, really? Like one time is a mistake, but twice, what is wrong? What my mom's friend was, well, what I know now is that she was probably drunk. I thought she was drunk. Whatever, whatever she was, she was not okay. This woman was not okay. And here's what just occurred to me today: If I knew she wasn't okay to drive at 12, my mom also knew, and she's like, "Get in! Got her dance class. Yeah, get in the car. Yeah, wow! Like she barely made it into the driveway. She's like crisscross on the driveway. One

Michelle Newman 29:53

like tires up on the lawn.

Kristin Nilsen 29:56

Mouse, get in! Doesn't even tell me to put my. Seatbelt on. Oh no! If it was me, I'd have gotten in and probably squashed myself up between windows in the back of that seat. Okay, here's another one too. Where they're just not worried enough. They didn't know where we were, and they weren't worried enough about us. So, I think I was sixth grade this time, and my mom was going to have lunch or tea or something with a friend of hers who lived in a town near here called White Bear Lake, which is on White Bear Lake, and she had this friend of my mom's had a daughter who was my age, so she's like, "Kristen, come with me. You're going to meet this girl because you're the same age, and then you'll be best friends. It's like almost like a playdate, like a 1970s play date. You're born in the same year, you'll be friends. So this friend asked if I would like to go for a walk around the lake, and what I didn't know, I said, "Like sure, okay. What I didn't know is that White Bear Lake is 11 miles around, and I think we were like, "Bye, bye, we're going for a walk, and we left, and we were gone for six hours, six hours. And I remember being like, "Like we're stripping off clothes, like we're so hot. We just keep going. We're almost there. It was very stand by me. Like we have this. There were four of us. Like we gathered kids from the neighborhood, and we were all in our line, and we're like singing songs, and like 100 bottles of beer on the wall. We got to get around this lake, and it took forever. And when we got back, they were so pissed. They were so pissed, but they were pissed because we were supposed to leave hours ago, and I didn't come here to drink tea for six hours. Nobody came looking for us, right? They're just like, I wonder where those rascals are.

Speaker 3 31:32

Exactly.

Kristin Nilsen 31:34

Where have you been? We should have been on the road by now. They were so mad. Michelle already talked about the casino and Reno story. Everybody talks about the story where my parents wanted to go play blackjack, and we they left us, me, my brother, who is four. Again, I'm seven. He's four in the diner. So the story that I always tell is that I'm stuck in the diner, and I can see into the bar across, and they're playing Lovell Keep Us Together, and I can see that it's the captain and the teal. I'm like, oh my god, the captain and Tenille! And so I break the law. I jump over the threshold and I grab my brother and we run into the bar and we watch the captain and Tenille until we get kicked out by a mean, mean janitor. It's a total Scooby-Doo episode. So I'm telling that story. I'm in California on I'm like at a restaurant chit chatting with some people, and I'm telling them this story because they're from Reno, and I'm like, it just occurred to me. No, that wasn't the Captain in Teneal. Of course not. It was at a bar at a casino in Reno. That's like the Baptain and Pamil, and and the people who lived in Reno, they said, no, I think that was the Captain Antonio, because they lived in Reno, and they would just drop by the casino all the time and just sing a quick song.

Michelle Newman 32:48

Oh my gosh, you guys! It's

Kristin Nilsen 32:52

true. I did see the Captain Antonio.

Michelle Newman 32:56

I can't even believe it. I'm just like my jaw is on the floor. I can't stop. Yeah, I've been. I've just caught about 18 flies. My mouth open. Yes,

Kristin Nilsen 33:05

and here's the thing: my parents never knew.

Speaker 2 33:06

Oh my god!

Kristin Nilsen 33:07

They don't know because I had broken the law. I I had run into the bar. I had my parents told me to stay in the diner, and I didn't. So of course, I'm not going to tell

Speaker 2 33:16

them. I'll

Kristin Nilsen 33:17

get in trouble.

Michelle Newman 33:19

Oh my god! I can't believe it. You probably saw. You most likely saw. Let's say I saw the

Kristin Nilsen 33:24

captain. We can't know

Michelle Newman 33:24

for sure, but I would say most likely.

Kristin Nilsen 33:27

Yeah, yeah.

Kristin Nilsen 33:27

And there was no when I saw them. There was no doubt in my mind that it was the captain and Tanil. And it was only as a woman in my 50s where I thought, Kristen. Yeah. Why would the captain and Tanil be at a casino? That it says it was in the bar. It wasn't even like in a concert space. It was just in the bar.

Michelle Newman 33:45

We have a lot of longtime listeners who right now are listening to this and doing the same thing Carolyn. We're doing with their mouths just open, like, oh my God, we're so excited for seven-year-old Krista because

Kristin Nilsen 33:56

right, they've heard this story so many times. But now I have confirmation from people in Reno. We're like, no, they did that all the time. Amazing! I actually saw them. You did. I know. I need to share this with my brother. I never told him. He doesn't know that he actually saw them. Okay, so my friend Jen, here's her casino story. I think there are a lot of casino stories out there because children aren't allowed, and as we know, parents aren't going to be like, well, I guess we can't go here. Yeah. Okay. So Jan was on a family trip to Las Vegas, and just like my diner in Reno, there was the line children can't cross the line. It was illegal, and on the legal side of the line, the you there was an arcade. Thank God, right? There was so she could do something because her parents needed to play slots. Needed. They needed to play the slots, and Jen was and still is a Ms. Pac-Man fanatic. So this was fine with her. She can play Ms. Pac-Man all day long, which is great because that's about how long her parents can play the slots. And Jen says she would run out of quarters and she would run up to the line, like get her toes at the line, and then. She would stand there and scream, "Mom, Mom, I ran out of quarters, Mom. And then her mom, and there was a security guard who they're the they're the only ones who cared about the children. The parents did not care where the children were. The security guards, it was their job to be like, "Hey, get behind that line. And so her, she said, her mom would grab a handful of quarters from her winnings at the slot machine, and then throw them across the casino engine. Hitting her in the face! Oh my! And she's like

Michelle Newman 35:36

running. I just see little Jen like running, like picking up quarter, quarter, and ducking is going to keep those legs. Quarter, quarter, and then there are

Kristin Nilsen 35:44

some that wouldn't make it into the place on the right side of the line. So she'd like keep her toes behind the line and then stretch, stretching to get the quarters on the dirty casino floor. She's like crawling. I can get it. I can get it. Oh my

Speaker 1 35:59

goodness, she's

Kristin Nilsen 36:00

fine. She's fine, but Jen is also the one who created the cookbook for Latchkey Kids. This is so brilliant. So she, Jen, became a master of the toaster oven. You know, she's at home alone during dinner time, like a lot of us were, and she said that mastering the toaster oven was such a big deal. That was like her first act of self-sufficiency, and she created so many dinners for herself that she started writing them down on lined notebook paper. And she made an illustrated cover, and she stapled the sides, and she put it on right on the shelf, like by the joy of cooking. That's that's her Latchkey Kid cookbook. So what was in the cookbook? Okay, because I just have to point out why is she making up recipes? Because her mom is not helping her with my date. Like she doesn't. She's just like make yourself dinner. I wonder what my sister and I would do. I could have used her that cookbook. Yeah, she should have published it. So the first thing a lot of us made hot dog pizza. This is very common. You have your English muffin. You cover it in ketchup, a piece of plastic wrapped cheese on the top, and then you cut up the hot dogs. Hot dog pizza. Also in the cookbook, Five Alive. Remember Five Alive? It was like it was supposed to be five fruits.

Michelle Newman 37:13

Yeah, five fruits.

Kristin Nilsen 37:14

Frozen juice in a can, and so the instructions, the ingredients are Five Alive, and then the instructions are: thaw the can, put it in the pitcher, add water, and stir. That's in there. You can also, from her cookbook, learn how to make a tab float. She had heard of a root beer float, but they didn't have root beer. They had tab, so she made a tab float. She has milk and Pepsi in the cookbook, even though she pretended to like milk and Pepsi, but she really didn't like it. And this, of course, is a nod to Laverne and Shirley,

Carolyn Cochrane 37:48

right?

Kristin Nilsen 37:48

And then one day she learned how to use the microwave, and how she learned this is a hallmark of Gen X parenting. So she called her mom at work because her cat Smokey was meowing at her, and there was no cat food. So her mom said, "Just scramble her an egg in the microwave. So on the phone at work, her mom walked her through the steps of scrambling an egg in the microwave, and Jen was like, "Well, clearly I'm a chef now. So she starts inventing recipes for the microwave, including spicy eggs. Spicy eggs involves mixing red hots into your eggs before you scramble them in the microwave, you could also make minty eggs. This is where you add a peppermint candy to your eggs before scrambling.

Carolyn Cochrane 38:32

John,

Kristin Nilsen 38:32

I know.

Michelle Newman 38:33

Oh my god, that's so nasty.

Kristin Nilsen 38:35

You could also just turn the page in the cookbook. The next one would be a can of Spaghettios, put the lay over the top of your Spaghettios up a slice of plastic wrapped American cheese. Voila, cheesy Spaghettios. And she said the the recipe book was really important to her because it was really about proving to herself, like, hey, look at me, I'm taking care of myself, and these are all the things that I can make. The cookbook was about see all the things I can make. It's both sad and adorable.

Carolyn Cochrane 39:05

Well, now it's time to share the stories that you, our listeners, shared. And as Michelle has pointed out, you made us feel a whole lot better when we read some of your stories. But luckily, we've all survived, and we're here to share those. So right now we're gonna read you a few of those and share a few voice messages that you all left, and we can all commiserate or

Kristin Nilsen 39:28

celebrate. You

Carolyn Cochrane 39:29

know, celebrate our survival that we survived. Our listener Jodi shared that her little brother and she said, "Think like five or six years old with a telltale fat lower lip. Yep, Dad had just given him a little bit of chew. My brother was so proud of himself, and it wasn't just once. Oh my God, that is so. I learned him from you. That's right.

Speaker 1 39:57

Okay. Thank you. I learned this from

Kristin Nilsen 40:00

you, honey. Let me stick this in your lip. This will be adorable. Yes, the kid does not do that himself. That's Daddy going like grabbing his lower lip and sticking it in there. That's right,

Michelle Newman 40:11

honey. Gail, go get the instamatic. You got to, you got to see this. That's right. The way the

Carolyn Cochrane 40:16

way that some of these were captured on film is another hoot and a half that parents were willing to like. This is cool. We got to remember this forever.

Kristin Nilsen 40:24

There's evidence of their delinquency. It's so bad. Okay, this one is from Lee, and Lee says we were allowed to play in the swimming pool at my grandparents' house all day while our parents worked. Sounds lovely, right? Yeah. Technically, my grandma was there. Good, good.

Michelle Newman 40:40

Well, that's good. That's she

Kristin Nilsen 40:41

was in the house. She was maybe within earshot, but also not able to swim. So

Speaker 3 40:49

why did she have maybe all in her back? That's important

Kristin Nilsen 40:54

the whole day. Like I still, my son is 23, and I still can't let him swim alone. I'm still doing

Michelle Newman 41:01

this. They're like, it's fine. Can the kids swim? Sure, sure. My mom's there. She's got it. Oh my gosh! And I do just want to say to our listeners that if you're listening and you're like, I turned in a story or I submitted a story, we had so many comments about like buying parent cigarettes or writing without seat belts or just being outside all day, and they're so great. But there were just so many of those that we had to narrow it down to the very specific instance. We read them all. We already read them all. Longevity wilderness. Yeah. So our friend Teresa says, when I was a baby, my mom would put me outside on the patio to tan with no sunscreen or hat.

Kristin Nilsen 41:43

I think it's funny that she adds with no sunscreen or hat. Well, of course not. How would you get tan? How would you get tan? But then wait,

Michelle Newman 41:48

in parentheses she says only for about 20 to 30 minutes, but still, like I mean, it wasn't that bad. My mom. Oh my god! Still, I just think there's so there's so many crimes in the when I was a baby, my mom would put me outside on the patio to tan. Just that, forget the no sunscreen. Like it's like you know Teresa is so stinking cute. If only she just had a little color. She's so pale. She's so pale,

Speaker 5 42:19

Roger.

Kristin Nilsen 42:20

That comes from your side of the family. Well, you know, when you're tan, you look slimmer. So we were right. She's just a little pudgy. I think if she just had a little color, she'd look a little slimmer. And Teresa,

Carolyn Cochrane 42:30

you know what? Stop complaining, because you at least were on your patio outside as a baby. I was on a New York City sidewalk alone, left alone. Yes, right.

Michelle Newman 42:40

Oh my gosh!

Carolyn Cochrane 42:41

Oh gosh! Okay, and our listener friend Robin shares that from 1977 through 1984. So this wasn't just a one and done. She and her sister were allowed to ride in the back of the truck bed for the six-hour trip up the California Oregon Coast Highway to visit our grandparents. We had blankets, pillows, snacks, and our sweet dog Kraut. I love that. We loved it. I liked laying back and watching the redwood trees as we passed by.

Kristin Nilsen 43:11

So open, no topper, because she's watching the redwood trees. And also, if she's talking about Highway

Michelle Newman 43:17

One,

Kristin Nilsen 43:17

yeah,

Michelle Newman 43:18

there's some there's some pretty good switchbacks. Oh, you're on the cliff. You're kind of on the cliff. So I felt like that one was worth including because I feel like that takes it to a whole new level. I rode in the back of the pickup truck, like I've said, West Texas flat, straight, straight shot, right, and probably only 30 minutes. She's back there for six hours on edge of the world. If she had to

Carolyn Cochrane 43:44

throw up, they could just run the side. I bet they

Kristin Nilsen 43:47

did. I bet they did. Like they do not sick. Maybe

Carolyn Cochrane 43:50

they gave them Benadryl or something. Yeah, put them to sleep half the time. Try try a mimic. That's what I remember getting so much. Trying to love the orange. Try a minute, and then I'd be out like a light.

Kristin Nilsen 44:00

Okay, this is one we've had before, and it's worth rementioning because it left a mark the first time. So this is JKSA. She says, "My little sister and I rode our bikes to swim team practice all summer long for years. This started when we were four and 8444. Apparently, four is indicative too. Like when you're four, they set you free. We had to be there by 730 a.m. We met our we met our across the court neighbor at the manhole cover in the middle of the street at 715 to ride together. She was six.

Michelle Newman 44:34

Oh my god! A four, a six, and an eight year old at 730 in the morning. See you guys. Have a good day at swim practice.

Kristin Nilsen 44:42

And she said her mom's still in bed. Eventually, her dad goes to work. They would come home, and her mom's their mom's still sleeping. So it's just swim practice. But never

Michelle Newman 44:50

know if they got there safely. No, if they wouldn't have, think how long it would have been if they would have been kidnapped, which was our biggest fear in the 70s. Think how long, how far away they would be. Before mom even woke up, to be like they're like sort of like your parents on the walk around. They're like six hours. Yeah, they should be home by now. I'll wait another couple hours or just wait a few more days. Well, if they're

Kristin Nilsen 45:10

not home by Wednesday, I'm gonna call the neighbor.

Michelle Newman 45:13

Oh my god. Okay. God, these there's a couple memories here that are so good. Hood Luma Automotive says, "Where do I start? My parents, air quotes, accidentally left me behind in the grocery store two different times. I already knew what to do: go up to the cashier and wait till my parents realize. Like she just had a plan, or he-I should say they, because I'm not sure if this is-they didn't actually leave the parking lot. They realized once they loaded the groceries. Okay, listen to this one. I vividly remember flying out of my dad's Monte Carlo. I was in the front seat without a seat belt, of course, right? Of course, jumping around, and either the door wasn't closed or I pulled the handle open. I held onto the door handle while my little legs were just swinging

Speaker 2 46:00

wildly until my dad pulled

Michelle Newman 46:02

over.

Kristin Nilsen 46:03

Okay, my gosh, I have to imagine the body

Michelle Newman 46:06

like flying out and like the little legs like pedaling in the air, and the dad's just sort of like, ah, Jesus Christ! Like kind of wheeling the wheeling the steering girl with one hand while he's got his cigarette in the other. Yes, that again. I feel

Kristin Nilsen 46:22

like this. Like I had a very similar experience in the VW bus. We're driving to Chico, and I remember looking at the door handle and just kind of wondering what would happen if I pulled it. Oh,

Carolyn Cochrane 46:32

I remember that all the time. And

Kristin Nilsen 46:34

so I did. I pulled it, and the door opened. And do I have to say I'm not wearing a seatbelt? I don't think I. No, I just say that right. And I just remember my dad keeping his hand on the wheel, and then him like smashing my body against the back of the seat, and then slowly stretching, stretching, like he's trying to grab the door. We're hurtling down the highway. He's going down the highway, and he's going to grab that door. And it's only then that I realized, like, oh shit, I could die. Like I, if that, I just was fiddling with the cut with the handle. I didn't think I would die.

Carolyn Cochrane 47:06

And I remember just that description you had of looking at the door, going, "What if I opened

Kristin Nilsen 47:10

it? Yeah, yeah. And this thing you said that. I think

Carolyn Cochrane 47:13

maybe I had at times like just a little bit, and then I don't know how that happened. I guess it wasn't shut all the way when we got in, like never confessing. Although I am confessing right now, and I do have to share a story really quick about the grocery store because this just popped into my head. I remember being I had to be again like six, and it was a weekend. My parents were home. Ronnie was baby, and my mom said, "Oh, we need a can of tomatoes, and we had a grocery store that I could walk to, but I had to cross a pretty busy street to get there, and they gave me like $2, and they just said, "Go and buy a can of tomatoes. And so I went, and there were tons of tomatoes. Like they didn't tell me what brand to buy or anything. And I remember just being like, "Oh my gosh, which tomatoes? And you know, rule follower, firstborn, all of that took me a good chunk of time to figure it out. Bought them. Went home, and I remember this like it was yesterday, you guys. And it just dawned on me when I was remembering this. I went. Oh, my parents were both in bed. They were snapping for those two snappings. They were just napping, Carolyn. I think that's what they said. How do we get rid of her? How do we get rid of her? Like for just a little bit on the weekend. Oh my! Because I think I remember those damn tomatoes sat in like the cupboard for forever. Like didn't even they eat even tomatoes? Tomatoes. Like why? And I took me so long to choose the tomatoes. And I remember just coming back, and they were in bed, and it just you know I wasn't old enough to put two and two together. Mommy has a headache. Daddy's helping her, right? And so the memory was in my mind more from being by myself at this grocery store trying to choose the tomatoes. Like, oh my gosh, what tomatoes? I don't want to get in trouble. Like that's the memory until I replayed it a little more and thought, oh yeah. And then I get home, Lillian. If you're listening like to this right now, though, I have to almost give you that one. Like that was well played,

Michelle Newman 49:06

well played.

Kristin Nilsen 49:08

That could beat the winner so far. Yeah, like Carolyn has a light bulb moment. Like, oh, they don't know that. Right? Wait, Mom had a ticket in the middle of the day. Why are my parents sleeping? Yes, they're not. Absolutely,

Carolyn Cochrane 49:21

yeah. Nope, right over my head.

Kristin Nilsen 49:24

Okay, this is this one is very familiar to me, and I think it's going to be familiar to a lot of people. Our ward says I was put in charge of babysitting my newborn baby brother all the time I was eight years old. Okay, same, same. I was nine. I got 10 cents an hour, and one time, I gave my mom, I gave my sister in her high chair. My mom, we had those little Vienna sausages, like baby food Vienna sausages. They look like little penises.

Carolyn Cochrane 49:49

Yes, and

Kristin Nilsen 49:50

she's like, if she is fussy, you can give her a Vienna sausage. Well, later that time, choking

Michelle Newman 49:55

at her. I

Kristin Nilsen 49:56

know, not at all. Yeah, give let the nine year old make that decision. So. That night, my sister barfs, and they're like, "Oh no, she's sick. Well, come to find out, she's barfing up all these Vienna sausages. There, and my mom's like, "How many did you give her? I gave her the whole jar. She wanted them, and like I gave it to her, and she was happy. So I gave her another one, and she was happy. And my giving dog

Speaker 3 50:18

a treat.

Michelle Newman 50:19

Yes, of course. Nobody said just give her one. You didn't tell me not to feed her the whole jar. This is your fault for letting a nine year old make decisions about a baby. Yeah, right. Oh gosh. Okay. Well, this is such a funny story from Ruth. She says it was normal for my parents to let us play outside unsupervised. We all get that, right? I was about 10, and my brother was three or four, so again, I'm sure Ruth's in charge of the brother babysitting. I remember being in the house on a hot summer day with both parents, and the phone ringing. It was the Texaco station, a couple of blocks from our house, and across a major road. We have your son here, and he's naked. Everybody had thought that my brother, let's not forget, three years old or four years old, was playing in the yard, and that was okay. We thought he was playing in the yard. Oh my God! We jumped in the car to boot it to the gas station. As we drove, we kept seeing pieces of my brother's clothing on the side of the street: shoes and socks here, shirt half a block later, etc. My brother had gotten hot on his truck and had performed a gradual strip tease on the side of also. Also, let's not forget the Texaco station was not just a couple blocks; it was across a major road. So we had to cross the road, little naked three-year-old.

Kristin Nilsen 51:35

Oh my gosh! Yeah, today that would apply. My brother would he? It was a problem. Him crawling out of his crib was a big problem. But one time, same thing. We got a call from the neighbor saying Eric is in our front yard. He crawled out of his crib and got out of the house, and it was it was in the middle of the night. And I remember, yes, in the middle of the night. And so you know what they did? They just sent him home. And I remember opening the door, like my mom and my dad and me. We opened the door, and here's my two. He's two years old. My brother is walking up the walk in his little blanket sleeper. He's like, "I'm home now. Just send him home. Ding dong. Yes.

Carolyn Cochrane 52:17

Oh, and that reminds me because I was going to ask. Didn't he have one of those nets? You know, I mean, I remember I had friends whose siblings had like basically a huge choking hazard kind of thing, like a net thing that went over the top of the crib to throw them in. But there were, you know, holes aren't big enough that you could probably put your head through them. But you were, you know, basically

Kristin Nilsen 52:38

my recollection is that they tried everything and nothing worked. I don't remember Annette, but but I'm sure they tried it. I remember we had family friends who were having the same difficulty, and what they suggested was tying a belt around his ankle and then belting and then tying the belt to the the slats in the crib, and then that would keep him in his crib,

Speaker 3 53:01

if he tried, he would be dangling. Oh, the blood would rush to his head. Oh my gosh! Just tie a

Kristin Nilsen 53:10

belt around his ankle.

Carolyn Cochrane 53:11

This is from Aunt Christy, and she said, "Not too traumatic. Question mark. I really was eight when my mom left me at home so that she could go to have lunch with my dad on a work day, she also left my three-year-old brother at home and told me to watch him. Here we go. Okay, yeah. While I played with my Barbies, I watched my brother walk alongside the back of the sofa and then fall off the end of it onto the brick edge of the fireplace, which cut his head open. That brick edge, you guys, I've had many a spam on those brick edges. Okay, so now her brother's head is cut open, and so she calls dad's workplace. And because dad had taken mom out to lunch, we know one of his coworkers drove to our house and shuttled us to the doctors, or not even her parents, because they didn't know where they went to lunch. I consider it impressive, even at age eight, that I knew the name and location of our family doctor and could direct the coworkers. That's impressive. Paso

Kristin Nilsen 54:06

Gen X. There we go. Yep.

Carolyn Cochrane 54:07

A few scalp stitches for the little brother, and he was okay. But because no one knew where my parents went to lunch, they couldn't reach them. So when Dad dropped Mom off at home, she walked into with two bloody towels everywhere and no kids. Oh my gosh, that's

Michelle Newman 54:23

right there.

Carolyn Cochrane 54:24

Finally, the coworker was able to clue them in, and they met us at the doctor. Good times.

Michelle Newman 54:31

I just wonder, though. I wonder what the chain of events were. How she then like you walk into the bloody towels and no kids. And part of me is like, ha ha, sirs, you're right for leaving them alone. You know you should get scared, but at what point did she get in touch with it? Like, when did she think to call the coworker? Maybe dad was at the office by then, and they were all like, "Oh yeah, Brenda got a call from your daughter an hour and a half ago. It is that's so classic to me. Yes, but I mean, gosh, Christy, like you said, classic Gen X, like. She, no pun intended, kept her head together to be like, okay, I need to call dad's coworker. Like she knew what to do at age eight,

Kristin Nilsen 55:08

and she knew the name of her doctor. Did you know the name of your doctor? Oh my gosh, I

Carolyn Cochrane 55:12

might have, but I wouldn't have been able to get them there.

Kristin Nilsen 55:15

Right, that's for sure.

Carolyn Cochrane 55:16

Yeah. Okay, this is

Kristin Nilsen 55:17

from Chrissy. She says, "I was raised in a frat house, my dad's frat buddies, now married with kids, were the foundation of their French circle. They played poker every weekend. I literally learned to read the cards in a deck before I could read words in a book. And yes, I was my parents' bartender, getting my mom's gin and tonic balance just right. You know, Chrissy.

Michelle Newman 55:38

So just real quick, yeah, that's a hard balance, and I'm with you. I hear you, friend. You were

Kristin Nilsen 55:42

the bartender. But to

Michelle Newman 55:44

just get the right ratio, yeah. For my mom, I don't know about Chrissy's, but for my mom, it was about 83% Jen, 17% Tom.

Carolyn Cochrane 55:53

I have my parents now. I'm having this memory of putting two fingers up, like oh yeah, against the side, and then my dad two fingers of gin, yeah, and that's and I remember doing that. So I must have made a drink or two in my life too, but horseshoe fingers that horse. Okay, imagine you're

Kristin Nilsen 56:08

teaching your children like what short fingers of gin means. Yes, teaching little Carolyn. So Carolyn, this is important information for you to have for your life.

Michelle Newman 56:17

Christy, we'll get right back to short. I think I told you too that when my older daughter Emily was probably two, my mom had just left. She'd been visiting us in Indiana for probably a week or you know whatever. And and when that happened, it was great. I mean, my mom and Emily were joined. Like I barely had to parent at all. My mom leaves that night. I'm giving Emily a bubble bath, and she's playing with all her little cups, and she's mixing and whatever. And then she kept putting it up to her mouth and letting it all just go, you know, with her mouth closed. She and she'd go, and I was you know playing along with her, and I said, "Oh, what are you making? What are you drinking? And she said, "Gin and tonics. She was two. She'd been with my mom for a week. Mixed

Speaker 1 57:00

grandma, gin and tonic. Oh, look!

Michelle Newman 57:01

Don't you love how we all just laugh at our parents' alcoholism? I know

Speaker 3 57:05

it's so adorable. It's a

Kristin Nilsen 57:07

'70s joke,

Michelle Newman 57:07

freshest, so

Kristin Nilsen 57:08

cute.

Speaker 2 57:09

Okay, Chrissy. Okay, so

Kristin Nilsen 57:10

back to Chrissy. She says their parties would go on late into the night, and kids were left in front of the TV babysitter. I won't go into the drunk driving home from those parties long before seatbelt laws and how the adults would instead of a last drink as one for the road, they said one for the ditch. Since one of them had indeed driven drunk into a ditch, and my dad actually had false teeth from hitting the dashboard back in those days. Ah, the 70s, survival of the fittest. I just love so that little Chrissy hears all these drunk friends going run

Michelle Newman 57:41

for the ditch, and she at one point must have been like, "What does that mean? And they told her, "Told

Kristin Nilsen 57:46

her he's so drunk that he drove into the ditch. He has driven in the ditch

Michelle Newman 57:50

one too many times, honey. Oh my gosh, Uncle Buster! All right, well, our good friend Carmi shared this with us. I just remembered this one because I visited my elementary school last week. We had a lovely crossing guard called mrs. McLean. One day, I had something after school. Maybe I lingered in the library too long. I don't remember. And when I left school, we didn't have a crossing guard, which made me nervous. So I called my mom, who doesn't have her driver's license. That's an important part, I think, and she made arrangements to meet me. That meant leaving my baby brother at home asleep, and she called a neighbor and left the phone in his playpen so that the neighbor could listen while she walked to school to help me cross the street. Okay, I feel like actually Carmi's story is not benign neglect, but it's very responsible parenting. That's

Kristin Nilsen 58:41

responsible parenting because we're going to give her. He, she cares. I think let's do it right now. She did a makeshift baby monitor.

Michelle Newman 58:47

She makes she that's the first baby monitor. Carmy, your mother should have trademarked that. And two, I don't have a driver's license, so I know I shouldn't get behind the wheel. I've got to walk to school. And she didn't say to Carmy, "Just cross the street by yourself. You're fine.

Kristin Nilsen 59:01

I'll come get you. I'll come. So yeah, and think about that neighbor. So remember, the phone is on the wall, and in order to hear the baby, should the baby wake up, she's gonna sit there on the phone while Carmy's mom is walking all the way to school. I got to get Carmy. Yeah, she's just sitting there waiting on the phone. That's how this baby monitor is gonna work because it's not. She can't walk around with it or anything. I know.

Michelle Newman 59:21

I know. I had to share that. I just thought that was like kind of an example of the opposite.

Kristin Nilsen 59:26

After all of it's so true. Like she submitted it in one spirit, but after all the stories that we've heard, she's doing a great job.

Speaker 3 59:34

Right. Exactly. We quite could all feel

Michelle Newman 59:37

like crap. Kirby probably like submitted that story to be like, oh, I've got one. Listen to how awful my mom was. Meanwhile, the three of us are like, give her mom a crown. Parent of the year. I would love

Kristin Nilsen 59:50

the image of having the corded receiver of the phone on the bed of the playpen. Really cracks me.

Carolyn Cochrane 59:56

He could have wrapped. Well, yeah, he could have choked. So there. Yeah, that's my. There's a point for that. Okay, that is true. Just one, just one picture.

Kristin Nilsen 1:00:03

Like our friend Amanda, who does the great retro art. Like if she could do a little panorama of the playpen and the phone and the receiver in the playpen, I think that Carmi could get that done and gift it to her family. Oh, I love it. That's so funny.

Carolyn Cochrane 1:00:18

Well, this story is kind of unbelievable, but it also goes to show. I think the 70s, between like picking up hitchhikers and all that kind of stuff, there was a lot of trust.

Kristin Nilsen 1:00:30

Yes, yes, a

Carolyn Cochrane 1:00:31

lot of just blind trust. I guess that's what we could say.

Michelle Newman 1:00:34

Which isn't that odd, though, because of all the like son of Sam type things and the Manson murders and all this stuff that was happening. Very that just seems very weird that there was so much trust. Everything is

Kristin Nilsen 1:00:45

fine.

Michelle Newman 1:00:46

This story from Dina. Holy cow! Yes.

Carolyn Cochrane 1:00:48

So yes. So this story from Dina. She shares that my mom's car got a flat tire once on the freeway, and some random guy pulled over and put this fare on for her. And I can see that happening. That's okay. Yeah, we're okay so far, and she appreciated that help. So she asked what she could do to thank him. You're wondering what I know. I got really scared right there. I got very scared. Let's just pause for everybody to think

Kristin Nilsen 1:01:12

about the way the rest of this story goes.

Carolyn Cochrane 1:01:15

Well, it's probably not going to go the way you think because he had just gotten kicked out of his girlfriend's apartment and needed a place to stay, so without even knowing his last name or checking to see if it was okay with my father, she invited him to sleep on our extra sofa in the dining room. We didn't have a guest room in our basement. Luckily, yes, luckily he wasn't a predator or anything. He was just sloppy and played his records at all hours of the night, mostly the Moody Blues. I'm thinking records all hours. What? How long was he? How long does he stay? He stayed with us rent free for about three months. This was so 70s. This was so 70s, though. About a month and a half in, both of my parents were getting really annoyed with him taking advantage. But my mom always got my dad to agree to let him stay just for another week

Kristin Nilsen 1:02:10

in the dining room. I just have to add that he's in the dining room. Like there's not even a

Carolyn Cochrane 1:02:14

door.

Kristin Nilsen 1:02:15

No, you know, to

Carolyn Cochrane 1:02:16

like close him off. Yeah, because she want she justified this by saying he had nowhere else to go, and so she said, "Dina says I finally got tired of listening to their arguments about him. And one day, when both of my parents were out of the house, I told him to leave. He just looked at me in silence for a moment while I stared him down. Then, without a word, he just gathered up his stuff and left. And we never heard from him again. I was 11. So her parents are leaving her home when she's 11. This is really a stranger. Yeah, yeah. And she was pretty proud of herself when I told her. I was pretty proud of myself. She said when I told my mom when she got home. I think that was the moment when she realized that I was actually parenting myself.

Kristin Nilsen 1:03:00

I mean, that is that's the that's the stereotype. Like Gen Xers raise themselves and they will take care of any problem you have in a single phone call, right? Right. She was 11 and she stared him down. She was like, "Dude, you have to go. Her mom couldn't do it, but she's a child and she did it. Get out! Oh

Carolyn Cochrane 1:03:20

my gosh, we love that story, Dina, and we're glad you lived to tell. Man, seriously,

Michelle Newman 1:03:25

that one is that one's really scary in hindsight for me to think about yet. Christine brings up something that I don't think really applied to me, but definitely my sister talking about you know just the norm. Everybody crossing the street, buying your parents' cigarettes. She's talking. She's she's remembering driving to Philly regularly, which was about a half hour drive to attend whatever concerts were were at the Spectrum, starting at age 16, and also waiting all night to buy concert tickets. Yeah, my sister and her friends used to drive into Portland all the time in high school, and they would go, and I'm to after hours at clubs on the weekends. They had just gotten driver's license, and understand again, no phones to know where they are. But the parents were like, "Sure. She would always come home just reeking of cloves too. Like I can remember, and but just the thought of yeah, go to downtown Portland, park somewhere, walk to the clubs, the after-hours clubs, or buying

Kristin Nilsen 1:04:23

tickets for a concert. Right there, you had to go to the downtown Dayton's, and you wanted. If it was a big ticket, you're going to get there a day early, and you're going to camp out on the sidewalk. And you're just like, "Bye, mom. I'm going to camp on the sidewalk. I'll see you tomorrow, hopefully. Yeah. Okay. Bye, sweetheart. Go go ahead. Yeah. Well, you

Carolyn Cochrane 1:04:40

guys, that sounds tame compared to what our listener Stephanie got to do. She was 16, and her friend was 15, and our parents let us drive by ourselves from Mississippi to Houston, Texas, to see a couple of dumb boys that we liked.

Kristin Nilsen 1:04:57

Oh my god! But there,

Carolyn Cochrane 1:04:58

but she says there was no funny. Business in parentheses, no cell phones, no GPS, just an address on a piece of paper and a and a Rand McNally atlas. We stayed for a week in a hotel room. My friend had her dad's credit card, and then we decided we detoured to San Antonio so we could see some other friends, and then drove home to Mississippi. I'll never forget that trip, but it dawned on me that I was listening. Well, but it dawned on me just how young we were when our parents let us do that. Holy crap! What were they thinking?

Kristin Nilsen 1:05:30

Okay, my my big concern is the hotel room, or probably a motel. It's probably a motel room. And so, sure, drive to Texas to see two random boys and stay in a motel room where you will what play? Well, she said no

Carolyn Cochrane 1:05:43

funny business. I don't know

Kristin Nilsen 1:05:44

how could there be no funny business. That is crazy. I mean, even if there was no funny business, as the parent, you're terrified of the funny business. You're

Carolyn Cochrane 1:05:52

not just going into town, like going into downtown Portland, and you live in a suburb. You are going. You had to go through Louisiana to get to Texas from Mississippi, like you're going on a multi-state trip. Oh yeah, that is crazy. Glad you survived, Stephanie. Yes.

Michelle Newman 1:06:10

Okay, and then on the you know we've talked a lot about the the children, the underage children buying cigarettes. Boonshine says my father writing notes giving permission for us kids to purchase his cigarettes at the store, like I can just see a little folded note. Like I can just see the dad tucking it in the pocket. Yes, his little pocket right here, his chest pocket. Right, and that goes along really well with this one from Reese O'Brien, who says, "Dad used to let me light his cigarettes for him when I was six years old,

Kristin Nilsen 1:06:41

see that children are so used. Reese, come here, come here. Let me show you how you use your

Michelle Newman 1:06:46

thumb and you flip this little wheel here. See, now don't be afraid of the sparks. You haven't drinking. You haven't drinking any like lighter fluid or anything that they have.

Speaker 6 1:06:55

Oh gosh, I was talking to my

Carolyn Cochrane 1:06:58

sister about the whole cigarette thing because same with us. We were sent in to buy them, and I remember sometimes they'd be out of my parents' Salem lights, what they liked, and they'd be like, "Well, do you want these instead? And I would just again like the tomatoes, I would freeze. I don't know. And my sister remembers going getting them out of the vending machine, and she said, "Remember, you would pull on like that screwdriver. Yes, it was a screwdriver top thing, and pull it out. And you had to pull it really hard when you know all the way come down. I just thought those were so funny too.

Kristin Nilsen 1:07:31

The pulling of the screwdriver, like we would just play with that. We thought it was like a toy, and it would snap back like that. Yes, Jen, the one who makes spicy eggs, she. I think there are a lot of smoking stories where a lot of our parents were smokers, and the children were either a part of the smoking experience or they were really, really. I know Carolyn, you were like really trying to keep your parents from smoking, and and Jen was too, and she said the reason was because. Well, okay, let me back up. She made a sticker for her mom's cigarettes that said Helen sticks. The reason they said Helen sticks is because there was a PSA on TV at the time where there was a black screen,

Speaker 1 1:08:07

and then there was this person who was talking with this really low growly voice, and they said, "My friends want me to stop smoking, but I'm not ready. And they said, "Helen,

Kristin Nilsen 1:08:19

and and when they say Helen, they're like,

Speaker 1 1:08:21

"Helen, you should really stop smoking.

Kristin Nilsen 1:08:23

That's when you know that it's a woman, and you're like, "That voice is a woman, and that's supposed to motivate you to stop smoking. And so she found all of her mom's cigarettes, and she put a sticker on that says "Helen sticks. And I just think that that is such that here we are again. We're the children, and we're taking care of our parents, like we know the right thing to do, and we're taking care of business because our parents are like, I don't care about how Ellen talks. I'm gonna keep smoking. Well, I got to tell you what, Anne Pellegrino, our friend who has Spot Girl Design, she's a great artist. She she said in terms of smoking that

Carolyn Cochrane 1:09:00

their aunts, her aunt would let them take puffs on their cigarettes when they were. Oh my god!

Speaker 3 1:09:07

And they was like, "Funny, funny, funny! Look at that little six-year-old son puffing on! You got it inhale, honey! You can't just blow that smoke back out. Here's how you paint the rings.

Kristin Nilsen 1:09:19

Yeah. Oh my! So funny, and we talked about this in our Museum of Smells episode too. We talked so much about smoking because that is the official smell of the 70s. But think about our parents when when you go to the restaurant, they're like smoking or non, and your parents saying smoking, and then you're you're bringing your children with you into the smoking section and having them eat. You're making a choice for your children to sit in the smoking section, but you didn't. That's just or in the

Michelle Newman 1:09:47

casino, or in the casino,

Kristin Nilsen 1:09:49

right? Right. Yeah. Smoking or not,

Carolyn Cochrane 1:09:51

or in the car with all the windows rolled out with all the windows rolled out. Oh yeah. Yes. Yeah.

Kristin Nilsen 1:09:56

Can we just say like that's the hallmark of Gen X parenting is exposing. Your children to secondhand smoke with no regard whatsoever. But you

Carolyn Cochrane 1:10:03

just-you didn't know everybody. That's what they'll say.

Kristin Nilsen 1:10:06

Like, well, we didn't know. We didn't know. But they did know. I mean, we had the PSA with Ellen. We had the PSA. So we had no one that came

Carolyn Cochrane 1:10:14

to school. Yes, the Lexiglass, the lungs. So our people say they did the

Speaker 3 1:10:19

whole. Yes, whole tree. his neck, and there's like a cigarette in the hole. That is felling with the

Speaker 1 1:10:26

hole in his

Carolyn Cochrane 1:10:27

neck. Hole in his neck. Yes. Yes. Oh my god. So

Kristin Nilsen 1:10:30

they say they didn't know, but they did. We knew. How did we? Okay, that's the question. How come we knew? How come we, as soon as we were getting

Carolyn Cochrane 1:10:37

bombarded at school, and you're scared to death that your parents are going to keel over or have a hole in their neck. I don't want

Kristin Nilsen 1:10:46

you to smoke with a hole in your neck.

Carolyn Cochrane 1:10:47

Oh gosh, that's awful. Oh my goodness.

Kristin Nilsen 1:10:51

Okay, so a weird beastly ham says, when I was five, my parents and I went to some place in Arkansas that had horseback riding. I rode a pony that was too young for the trail ride, so my parents left me behind for an hour while they went. Hello, they bought me a grape soda and left me at a picnic table. What if they're brain riding? I don't know if anyone was technically watching me. I remember the soda got too warm, and I was bored and hot waiting for them to return. I am able to tell this story today, because I was not kidnapped or murdered.

Michelle Newman 1:11:24

Also, I'm picturing too like they're sitting out at a picnic table, no sunscreen. Of course not. I mean, I don't even need to talk about how many things and spots and things I've had cut out, burned off, whatever of my body today and then over the past like 15 years because of how sunburned I got. My mom did not put sunscreen on me, or if she did, it was the same oil she used because she her big deal was going to the pool or the beach and putting that. It's in the brown bottle. It's not copper tone, but it's oil basically. Yeah, really dark Hawaiian tropical

Kristin Nilsen 1:11:57

Hawaiian tropical something. Yeah, and it

Michelle Newman 1:11:59

just was oil. Basically, she was just oiling herself up. That's probably what she put on me too. Oh, for sure. My shoulders and my chest would peel so much that it would bleed. Like I would peel down so many layers. Oh my god! And so I've had I have so much sun damage on my shoulders and my face and everything now that I am religious about going to the dermatologist for. But I'm imagining here that a weird beastly ham. Sorry, that's what we're calling you, but sitting there so hot under the frying, just, just, just, just getting burned to a crisp, or like poor little, you know, poor little Teresa getting thrown out as a baby

Carolyn Cochrane 1:12:38

today to our friend, a weird beastly ham story, as well as a lot of these others. God forbid we get in the way of our parents' fun. Oh, obviously, golly, it's just like you're not gonna ruin this day for me. I'm going horseback casino. I'm going horseback. I'm going to hell for tenation or hell salvation. Whatever. We have taken

Kristin Nilsen 1:13:00

Uncle Marvin for a Jack Daniels after church, damn it! And you will not stop me. Parenting does not have to ruin my life. And I mean, just getting back to the sunscreen thing, like we have to we we have to remember sunscreen wasn't even a word. It was suntan lotion or suntan oil. Yes, the only question was oil or lotion. Sun tan oil, suntan lotion. But and there was only one purpose for it, and that was to get tan. And I remember asking my mom because she grew up in California. I'm like, "What did you do before sunscreen? She said, "You wore clothes at the beach. You wore a hat and long sleeves. Like if you were fair, you would put on long sleeves at the beach because otherwise, you just got tan oil.

Carolyn Cochrane 1:13:38

And let's probably admit to the fact that this the sun only got probably stronger and more evil as time has gone on because of climate change and all of that stuff in our ozone. So you know our parents probably didn't have to lather up as much as you know we do and our kids. Yeah, it wouldn't have been wise for them to if we'd known better. We would have done better. But at the same time, it's like that sun is so darn strong now that you know we're supposed to. Michelle said she got sunburned through her or sun, you know, damage from your riding in the car, driving in the car on your left hand side.

Michelle Newman 1:14:15

The other day, yeah, we were noticing that my dermatologist never. But I will say that I don't think as a child, I knew such a thing as sun like cream existed.

Kristin Nilsen 1:14:24

Oh, right. To me, suntan

Michelle Newman 1:14:26

oil. It was suntan oil. Mine was that copper

Carolyn Cochrane 1:14:28

tone, that brown bottle.

Speaker 3 1:14:30

Because I don't think

Michelle Newman 1:14:31

there were any other. I did as an older child, but I'm just going to say, as a child, my memory is always that oil. I hated that oil because

Kristin Nilsen 1:14:37

you're supposed to get tan. That was easy. That was better for tanning. That would get you a darker tan. Okay, Amy, she says, "Oh boy, how many times did I get a sip of my dad's beer, ride on the back of his motorcycle with no helmet, ride in the back of his pickup truck as we bounced along the gravel road to my grandma's house, or sit in the front seat of the car with my arms acting as the quote unquote seatbelt? Of course, as many will attest. The whole go outside and come back before the street lights came on thing was not a myth. We ate lunch at whatever house we found ourselves at that day in the summer. As for school, I walked to and from school alone, starting in kindergarten. Same, same. Is there any wonder why Jan X is a resilient, independent, a resilient, independent bunch of folks. I am one of those parents who. Well, that part doesn't matter. Yeah, I that never occurred to me until I read that. I walked to school in kindergarten. I remember my mom walked with me on the first day, and then it was over. Then I was on my own.

Michelle Newman 1:15:34

You know how to go now.

Kristin Nilsen 1:15:35

Yeah, yeah. And it was like many blocks away and lots of different turns. And I just I kind of followed the group of kids, like I think it's this way.

Michelle Newman 1:15:43

I wonder if it was as long as Dino Jennifer, who was allowed to ride her bike to elementary school, about four miles.

Kristin Nilsen 1:15:51

Oh my god! Oh my gosh!

Michelle Newman 1:15:54

No helmet, of course. No emotional support. Water bottle. I love that. Drink water. I don't even know. The only water I drank would have been from the host. No, you didn't drink water, and no one would check if she got there. She loved it, but she said the ride home at the end of the school day, especially when it was hot, was rough. Yeah, four miles. You think? Then she was able to ride her bike to the beach in the summer, which was even a longer ride in a very traffic-filled tourist town. But Jen, why don't you just go to the beach today, honey? I know it's six miles and buy some tomatoes

Kristin Nilsen 1:16:24

too while you're there. Yes. There's our full. Speaking of

Carolyn Cochrane 1:16:29

bikes, I wanted to share a story that Leanne sent into us. She says that on her brother's refrigerator to this day is a picture of him in midair on his BMX bike, oh, going over like Evel Knievel over three friends who are laying on the ground. Yeah, and she goes on to say she describes the picture as her brother wearing his tube socks and also a like cut off football shirt, you know, like the sleeveless ones. And she said the ramp is made out of a sawhorse and an old door, and he remembers pedaling full speed ahead, jumping over, you know, going up the ramp, jumping over the friends, and this is captured on film because it's on the refrigerator by his parents who watch the whole thing in real time. Oh my

Kristin Nilsen 1:17:19

God! Sure, go ahead.

Carolyn Cochrane 1:17:20

Yeah, free friends. Yes, and we'll we'll make sure and take the picture right at the right time. He's so proud of this picture. It's still on the refrigerator today, but oh my gosh, can you imagine? That's funny because my first thought was,

Kristin Nilsen 1:17:31

isn't this funny? And all this we did all this, and our parents never even knew. Apparently, yeah. Sometimes

Carolyn Cochrane 1:17:36

there's photographic evidence. Probably,

Michelle Newman 1:17:38

probably the parent was like, oh, I got a great use for this door that's in the garage. Come on, yeah, I show what we're gonna do. Go get the neighbor kids,

Carolyn Cochrane 1:17:46

and just think of all of those evil can evil stunts. I mean, a lot of you know, Andy will share with me stuff they did, but not necessarily with his parents standing right there taking pictures of the event. And here we're like, okay, we'll get it just the right time. Jumping over

Kristin Nilsen 1:18:02

children. Let's not forget that part. She's jumping over children, not like a garbage can or something. Actual human beings, exactly. I belong to other people. Like these are neighborhood children. They're not yours. Oh my

Carolyn Cochrane 1:18:13

god! Oh, that evil can evil made us think we could do. And we got some great messages from people who left some voicemails for us? So listen up and hear what they had to say.

Speaker 7 1:18:25

Hey, ladies, this is your friend Mark from New Orleans with his questionable parenting story. Everyone associates New Orleans with drinking and partying, and there's some truth to that. But this is kind of how it starts. So in the '60s and '70s, there was a restaurant out on the lake called Bali High, which was owned by the Bat family, and you may remember Brian Bat as one of the actors on Mad Men back in the back in the early 2000s. But anyway, my brothers and I liked to go there because they had the poo poo platter, p u p u platter, and we thought that was hysterical. You know, we're we're kids gonna go eat poo poo, so we used to get this drink called the Flaming Zorba, and it was nothing more than fruit punch served in a glass coconut. But they would hollow out a lemon, fill it with Bacardi 151 or Everclear, or whenever burned, place it in front of the child. My little brother was six, I was eight. My older brother was 10, and when they served it to us, my mother would dump that burning alcohol into our drink, and that is how she kept us quiet. So we would enjoy our poo-poo platter in relative silence. So I don't know if it's actually questionable parenting or just reasonable parenting. But anyway, also at my senior party when I graduated high school, they had a full bar. That's the way it goes here. Anyway, love the work. Keep it up, and we'll talk to you soon. Cheers, ladies. Hi,

Speaker 2 1:19:42

my name is Marla, and I'm a huge fan of your podcast. Back in the winter of 1981, when I was 16 and my brother was 15-that's 10th grade and ninth grade-my parents left us alone for an entire week, along with our dog, to go on vacation. To Bocaritown, Florida, I had my driver's license, and my aunt lived two miles away, so my parents thought everything would be fine. And while my brother and I did nothing bad, can you imagine parents doing this today? Years later, my mom told me that as they drove away, she asked my dad if they were doing the right thing. He had no problem with it. I was also a latchkey kid when growing up in Queens, which is a borough of New York City. Our school let us walk home for lunch, and when I was in third grade, I was given $1 to go out to lunch on the Avenue, a shopping area three blocks from our school. I often went with two of my other friends who also wore a key around their neck. We go out for pizza or the local deli for a hot dog or kinesh, and afterwards we went to the candy store to buy a treat. And I, the rule was, I had to come home with change. When I became a third grade teacher, my students would marvel that I could leave school for lunch, go out to eat without an adult, and a $1 could buy all that food. I'm looking forward to hearing these other Gen X stories.

Speaker 4 1:21:12

Hello, my most favorite podcast team. This is Laura calling from Portland, Oregon. Well, a suburb of Portland, Oregon, and my Gen X parenting totally of the time story is how I grew up in a very small town. There was one little restaurant that we happened to live one lot away from, and in that restaurant was a cigarette machine with the fun little buttons that had all the different cigarette packs pictured on them, so you know which one you wanted. My parents would send me over with money to buy them a pack of cigarettes. Being all grown up now, of course, that's not a thing that would happen today. But I recall loving those buttons, and they would send me over and tell me exactly which one to get. Anyway, that's my story. I am a 1968 old Gen Xer.

Speaker 8 1:22:11

Hey guys, Erica here from North Carolina. I just wanted to fill you in on a babysitting story. So we recently had a few years back a reunion with some neighbors we grew up with outside of Boston, and I was chatting with one of the moms of the son. I used to babysit regularly as an infant. I babysat him almost every Saturday night, and parents were out with my parents. And he was-he had had some heart surgery as a newborn, so he had to sleep with a heart monitor on his chest. He wasn't even one. Anyway, I used to babysit them all the time, and they gave me instructions if the heart monitor should go off. I had to call 911 and then call them right away. So anyway, at this reunion of all of us just a few years ago, I was asking this couple how their son was doing, and they filled me in. He's doing great. He, they said, you know, he lives at Cape Cod. He's married. He's 45 years old, and she went on and on and on. But all I could hear was he's 45 years old. Because as she was talking, I was doing the math in my head, and that means I was 10 when I babysat him. Oh

Kristin Nilsen 1:23:15

my god!

Speaker 8 1:23:15

So I babysat a baby at 10 years old. That was a newborn infant with a heart monitor on his chest and no cell phones. Everybody was out doing their thing. So I said to her, "I said, wait a minute. If your son is 45 and I'm currently 55, I said I was 10 years old when I used to babysit him with that heart monitor. And she just looked at me and she said, "Well, you didn't kill him. Nope, aren't you lucky? My gosh! Oh my god, you guys, that is so funny. Today, today was like an official airing of the Gen X experience. We are sharing on

Kristin Nilsen 1:24:00

mass a critical mass of what it was like to be us, and we will not let the world look away. And it explains so much about who we are as a generation. As in, if you need something done, ask a Gen Xer. You cannot phase us because we have been left behind at gas stations, and we found our way home without a GPS. We can pick up the phone and take care of that problem because we had mom's office on speed dial after school. We will never starve. We will just make spicy eggs, or surely there's like something something you can put a kraft single over and heat up in the microwave. We are indestructible. In my writing group recently, our prompt was, "What is the thing that broke you? And I wrote, nothing. Nothing can break me. I am a warrior, and I can make things happen with just a phone call and an eye roll. But I am no Karen. I am Gen X. Long live Gen X. Thank you for listening today, and we will see you next time.

Michelle Newman 1:24:58

That's a really important. Distinction, by the way, I am right. But I am Gen X, right? Big difference.

Kristin Nilsen 1:25:04

I will take care of this.

Michelle Newman 1:25:05

Yeah, yeah. Just give it to me. And to our current patrons, you are truly the heartbeat of the Pop Culture Preservation Society because of your generosity. We're able to keep researching, recording, and preserving the pop culture history that we all love so much, your support pays for our hosting, improves our sound quality, and quite honestly keeps our nostalgic little hearts beating. We see you, we appreciate you, and we could not do this without you. And if you love what we do here and want to help us keep the vault open, we would love for you to also come join our Patreon family, it's super easy to join. Just head on over to Patreon.com/popculturepreservationsociety, or simply click the direct link in these show notes, and you can explore the different tiers, the exclusive perks each tier receives, and see what works best for you. Today, we're giving a special shout out to these patrons, Carla, Erin, Debbie, Christine, Amy, Tanya with an A, Johanna, Leanne, Kimberly, Robert, and Mendel.

Kristin Nilsen 1:26:12

Thank you, everybody. In the meantime, let's raise our glasses for a toast, courtesy of the cast of Three's Company. To good times,

Carolyn Cochrane 1:26:19

to happy days, to little house on the prairie.

Kristin Nilsen 1:26:23

Cheers, everyone. The information, opinions, and comments expressed on the Pop Culture Preservation Society podcast belong solely to Carolyn, the crushologist, and Hello Newman, and are in no way representative of our employers or affiliates. And though we truly believe we are always right, there is always a first time. The PCPS is written, produced, and recorded in Minneapolis, Minnesota, home of the fictional WJM Studios and our beloved Mary Richards. Nanu Nanu, keep on truckin' and may the force be with you